Bride of War (18+)

30

"What year is this?" Slade asks.

"1620," I whispered.

"Years start with a 1 now?" He frowns. "I think the last thing I remember...they were three numbers."

I shift over in bed. "You're remembering things?"

He nods, with a small smile. "Monika," Slade pulls me onto his chest. He has red feathers on his shoulders. I play with them.

His hand settles on my lower back. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. The weight of him, the strength of his presence. It's been a while since I slept on him.

Felt his reassuring hands on my back, the way they idly rub when my heartbeat goes Even a tick faster. Is it any wonder?

I look up at him, taking him in. Is it any wonder? Is there anyone who could do less? He took me off the floor, loved me, harder, softer more completely than anyone ever has.

I can't give him up. This is my happily ever after this is my fairytale ending this is what makes 30 years of damage, of pain, of bad luck, that's what makes it worth it!

I can't give up. I can't let something silly like...world peace stand in my way. I'm not at peace.

If I don't have this if I don't make this work that means all of the things that broke me weren't leading up to some fantastic ending.

It means my life isn't a play I'm not a character I just suffered for suffering's sake.

And I can't live like that. I can't rationalize that. I am here because no matter what has happened to me, I shrug it off and just say unlucky.

Because...I just knew someday it would pay off and I would get my happily ever after before the curtains fell.

Slade's hand cups my neck. "It's my fault, little wife. I was weak. You don't have to do something like this for me."

He says that. But I do have to.

• • •

Slade isn't there when I come back. I don't wonder where he is. I know he'll be back.

My chest aches. Today is the day. Today is the day I cease to become human. Today is the day...

I sit in front of the King in his chambers. Slade's knife is tucked in my sleeve. I'm barely containing my vomit. I've never killed anyone before.

I am going to ruin...everything. Plunge the world into despair for my happiness.

I'm terrible.

I close my eyes. He's speaking again. I wonder whether he's a good person or not? I'm not really sure.

"Your majesty," I say softly. "There's something I must ask you."

He looks up at me. "Yes, Rose?"

Right...Rose.

"Do you believe in the gods' plan?" I saddle up next to him, batting my lashes at him, playing up my innocence. He is a king after all.

Trained in combat. I have one shot at this.

"Perhaps," he muses. "But perhaps not. I like to think I have a choice. That I can use my strength for the god of my people. That I can do well,"

He smiles. Oh...he's a real person. I'm about to kill a real person. For a fairy tale. What if it doesn't come true? Will I destroy this man? This country this world for something that won't actually come about?

Can I take that risk?

In good conscious, perhaps not. My stomach turns again.

"I see. I believe in the will of the gods. That there must be a happy path for me. That my suffering hasn't been for naught. Even if it drives me insane. I must have it. I can't have led such a cursed existence for nothing."

He frowns. "As a noble in a prosperous kingdom has your existence been very cursed?"

I smile. Right. Rose.

I stand. "Your majesty, I have seen things, endured things that most have not. But I go on. I persist."

I turn around. "There is a button in the back, your majesty. Will you assist me?"

He stands, trusting. Stupid. I feel bad.

His hands dust my back. I promised Slade I wouldn't let him touch me. My stomach turns more violently.

What else can I betray? My humanity. My morals. My values. My husband. The world.

Even if I gain my happy ending, can I even be happy? After what I've done?

It's too late. I'm turning around smiling softly.

"Do you think I will be happy your majesty?"

I say this is my final pit stop. If he says no, I'll turn around and find another way. If he says yes, I'll take it as a sign to kill him.

He smiles softly. "I definitely think...you will be happy Rose."

I slip my knife from my sleeve, putting my hands around his neck. "That's so sweet your majesty. But please, call me Monika."

I plunge the knife into his bag, hugging him. "You were kind to me. I will stay with you. I know how it feels to die alone."

I hold his hand as his breath goes raggard. "Why?"

I smile, tears falling from my face. "I have to follow your advice, your majesty. I have to be happy. I'm sorry."

He frowns. But then his expression evens out. "I see...be happy, Monika."

A scream of agony is ripped from my chest. I don't know where it originates or why it is so heart-wrenching.

I shouldn't scream. Guards will be here and if they see me I'll be executed. But I simply can't help it. It's forced out of me.

It doesn't matter if I go insane.
I'm cursed anyway.

Slade stands in front of me, his fur around his neck, cape billowing as if he'd flown here, red eyes glaring down at me.

I smile. He lifts me up in his arms, pressing his forehead against mine. Guards rush in, and he takes us away, stopping to get Dion and throw him over his shoulder.

He stops at the temple, putting Dion down. Slade's strong arms carry me into the temple, into our home.

He says nothing. He doesn't have to.

We both know I'll never be the same.