The Puppeteer

BB

26th June 2007:

It wasn't grief that would leave in seconds or minutes. It wasn't grief that would leave in days or weeks or months or even years for that matter. It wasn't grief that left at all. It stayed within you, eating you up from the inside, burning you, and hurting you even if you begged for it to stop, and L couldn't have been more grateful that he had someone to help him get used to the pure torture his heart was putting him through.

L was never good with human emotions. Having lived almost his entire life in an orphanage, with no one to love and leave before that, the man had never quite felt the dark emotions of losing someone, and now that the loss had finally come to him, it had all come together like a harsh and sudden blow, like the impact of a bomb.

He had been out of it for many days. His mind had been completely blank, as hard as that is to believe, and he had even almost completely stopped eating. Kiyo had taken on his role in the Kira case, keeping a watch on Light, Misa, and Soichiro Yagami, who were still in their solitary confinement. Light kept begging for his freedom, Misa kept begging for hers, and while Aizawa and Matsuda had also started leaning towards the three being released, Kiyo knew that wasn't in her hands. It was L's decision, and only L's alone.

So she supported him, cradled him in her arms as he sometimes sobbed at night, or awoke with a jolt after a particularly vivid and nightmarish dream, only waking up to find that his nightmare was his reality. She stood by him and watched him fall apart, only to gather him in a blanket of warmth as they both stayed up late into the night, trying to put his pieces together, no matter how tired they were. She helped him get stronger and stronger until he finally told her what had happened. 

Until he told her about his life, about the orphanage, about Nate and Mihael and A, the boy that had committed suicide. He told her about Watari, his father figure, and his children that weren't related to, but meant the world to him. He didn't expect her to understand, he only expected her to listen and she did so better than he could ever ask.

However, she hadn't just listened, she had spoken as well. She had asked questions that had managed to jump-start his almost decaying mind, at this point, that he hadn't used in a long long time.

"But why would someone make such an elaborate plan to blow up an Orphanage, unless they already knew that the place wasn't as ordinary as it looked?"

The question had sent his mind spinning and his heart racing in his chest. All the previous bombings, all the threats, all the robberies, all the patterns - they were just a distraction. The real reason for killing so many people was because the final target was Wammy's Orphanage, but why? And how?! If someone blew up the Wammy's place after such intricate planning, it meant they knew Wammy's house was a difficult target.

And if they knew Wammy's was a difficult target, they knew the reason behind it.

The Kira killings had begun once more but L couldn't have cared less right now. He couldn't have cared less about anything at all, and Kiyo knew that which is why, when she was shaken awake in the middle of the night by the great detective himself, she wasn't surprised.

A stack of files had been smacked into her face as soon as she rubbed out the sleep from her eyes as L stood before her, an eagerness on his face she hadn't seen in a long long time. It made her happy.

"I had been wondering about the incident," L said, not being able to give the 'incident' a name, "And I realized the only person who could have done something like this would be someone from the orphanage itself."

The sleep had suddenly vanished from Kiyo's eyes, a slightly surprised expression on her face as she stared at L who in turn stared back at her. This was the first time that she had noticed hope, she had noticed will and strength and the flickering desire to pull himself out of the hellhole of guilt L was forcing himself into. This was the first time she noticed the want to recover within him and she'd be damned if she didn't help this spark turn into a raging fire.