Secret Santa (Christmas addition)

Chapter. 22

Day 2 of quarantine.

Ughhhhh I hate it here

I want to go to work !!
Yes I am obsessed with working. Im always complain that I work to much and don't have time for myself, but now when I'm not working the only thing I wanna do is work.

I'm to complicated that's probably why no one wants me.
But Love is also complicated, and everyone wants love.
Ugh this is to complicated.

Complicated complicated complicated

Change of subject

What is Chris doing right now ? That's a good subject.

If I'm going to guess what he's going I'll say he's feeding dodger right now
Or or or he's taking a shower and the hot water is dripping down his big muscular back and on his tight abs
Or he's working out doing push-ups. And breathing loudly
He could also be cooking no I don't think he would be cooking right now.

Just the thought of him is making me feel things.
Good things.

I'm cozy in my bed, and you know what that means.

I open my bottom drawer and grab my vibrator and turn it on.
The familiar buzzing sound coming from it.

I place the toy exactly where I want it and
oh my goooooooddd
That feeelllsss ssooooo goooddd
But nothing better then Chris.

With Chris i felt him in my stomach, so fucking deep. His thrusts were so hard and slow making me feel every single feeling in my body.
Ahhh fuck

Before I know it my body is realising

Just the thought of him can do this to me in 1 minute. Just imagine what happens when I'm with him.

I just lay In bed just disappointed I guess. I don't even know why I am disappointed.
Maybe it's because of Chris.
He really made me feel special but also worthless and used.
We really could have been good together, but my life isn't a movie. I can't expect everything to workout.

I go on my computer and order some food. Just the good old Chinese egg rolls and noodles.

❄️

After eating I just lay in my couch and watch tv. There literally nothing else to do.
I got a pet to keep me entertained but I don't think a fish is enough.
I mean I feel like I should get another fish just so Nemo could get a friend.

Who gave me the fish anyways ? Was it Chris or Jack I still don't know.
Usually on last day of work everyone try's to guess who there secret Santa is, but we didn't do anything this year.
I mean there only 6 people at work on the last day.
I'm just not In the Christmas spirit and nothing can change that.
I mean every Christmas is the same for me but usually I'm happy and excited, but now I'm not even in the mood to open presents. Probably cause I'm not getting any.

But Christmas isn't about present, right ? It's about spending it with the people you love. Well fuck I don't have anyone.

That's basically what goes on in my mind before I go to sleep. I'm an over thinker.

Well I'm not going to sleep right away, I need to over think my whole life before I can do anything.

What should I think about now ?

Oh fuck I remember that time when I was in eighth grade and I had just started my period. I was in PE than I looked at the floor to see a trail of blood on the gym floor, and I didn't know what to do so I started wiping it all with my sock.

I also remember my fist kiss ended up putting a boy In the hospital. Am I that bad of a kisser ?
Well before you judge my kissing let explain. It was at a birthday party and I had just eaten a reese's peanut butter cup.
Then one thing led to another and all the girls had pushes me next to my crush (Mike) and let me just say this was a sixth grade birthday party, so everything was exiting.
Me and well Mike started talking then some girl told me to kiss him and as I was about to kiss him He showed his tongue in my mouth and with in 2 minutes he was having some sort of allergic reaction. Don't worry he was fine. But after that nobody kissed my until I was In High school.

All this shit is crazy. I don't know how I lived past it all. It so embarrassing.

But now I'm getting tired. I should sleep and keep the rest of my over thinking/embarrassing story's for another night.

~❄️~~❄️~~❄️~~❄️~~❄️~~❄️~~❄️~~ ❄️~