Emerald Addicted

19. Does This Count?

A/n

Heyy guyss... Just wanted to wish you guys happy new yearsss and I hope its a year full of luck and joy for yall. ❤️

Everything that has happened to this story is related to this chapter and I've waited so long for this day... I swearr. I know some of you are angry with Chris but we're about to clear things out..

Just enjoyyy ;)

~ Rene ~

The moment that door closed, I felt like everything despaired and I was drowning somewhere deep, and I couldn't get out. As much as I tried to breathe and escape the ground was refusing my wishes and sinking me deeper. I know I fell to the ground cause I felt the pain on my knees hit me.

Every memory hit me like a rock, every sweet kiss I had shared with Chris, every moment of embarrassment I had felt, everytime I was with him. We might not have been perfect but at least we were real and honest. All the little things we shared together, every bite of that cheeseburger... They were small but perfect. I didn't want more then that. I hadn't asked for more. I know I'm a cowered sometimes... I wish I wasn't. I wish I wasn't afraid to accept my feelings and tell Chris the truth.. Maybe everything would have been better. Maybe we wouldn't be where we are.

The thought of Chris leaving, wakes me up from my darkness. I take a deep breath before grabbing a sweater, running through the stairs to the front door. I heard Amanda and Eneyd calling my name once or twice but I couldn't care less. I felt the cold air filling my lungs of the thought of where Chris could be right now. His car was still there so he couldn't have left. I run towards every corner I could get my eyes on but there's still no sight of him. I don't know how but tears were escaping my eyes, because I wanted to find him. I wanted to hug him and tell him so many things. To hell with everything. To hell with falling for the bad boy.. To hell with everyone telling me not to talk about my feelings.. To hell with boys should make the first move. I'm done.

Breathe.

There is still one place I still haven't looked yet. A place I would spend hours staying once.

There he is standing.. Sitting on the bench, hands on the pockets staring at the lake, probably lost at the thought. His hair are falling back cause of the wind, and I'm just gazing the amazing profile he has. I walk slowly and when I'm closer, I feel my heartbeat rise. I sit on the bench next to him, looking at what he was looking. He turns his head to watch me, but I don't do the same. I just keep gazing the lake and the perfect colour it has because of the sunset. I put my hands on the pockets., just like him and say..

" Beautiful isn't it?!"

" Yeah" Chris replied but this time with a tired voice.

" I used to come here all the time when my mom died." I say and Chris turned his gaze at me. " This is in fact where I met Eneyd. He would come and sit with me here...we would stay here for hours without even talking and he still wouldn't get bored.. But also wouldn't say something. I didn't want to talk back then.. I didn't want to do anything at all.. Didn't want to talk with anyone.. But he wouldn't leave me alone. " I'd ay and my voice cracked a little." Even though I would yell at him to leave me alone he wouldn't. "

I breathe.

" That's how it is Chris. " I exhale the breath I just took." Sometimes the things we hate the most, become the things we can't live without"

" Why are you telling me this, Rene?" Chris asked, running his hand through his messy hair. " I don't think that changes anything"

" What do you want from me Chris?!" I ask being the honest I have ever been in my entire life. I'm tired of the meaning behind the words trying to solve the puzzle.. I'm just tired and sick of this stupid game.