𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝? || ᴿᵃⁿᵇᵒᵒ

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢-𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

You called Nathan to see if he was available for a walk.

"Of course!" He answered immediately. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"Well, you could say that," you sigh. "I'll tell you when I see you."

We meet in the park; Nathan was sitting on a bench, texting someone on his phone. He heard you coming and he looked up, grinning. "Hey!" He got up looked over you, as if scanning if you were okay.

"Hi," you replied warmly. "Can we get ice cream?"

He nodded, then you linked your arm around his and you both walked over the well-worn path to the ice cream vendor.

"Who were you texting?" You asked.

"Oh, just some friends," Nathan smiled to himself. "We're planning something big. Like, BIG, big."

"Oh? And that is?"

"A secret," he told you once you reached the shop.

He got you ice cream; one of your preferred flavor, and him cookies and cream. You continued down the path.

"I'm meeting my online friends." You look quizzically at Nathan. "The thing I've been planning," he catches you up.

"Ohh, that's nice," you remember some of the streams and videos that he was in. If you remembered correctly, he was good friends with Tommy and Tubbo. "Are they meeting you here?"

". . .No," he articulates slowly. "I'm flying to the UK."

You stop in your tracks. "What?"

Nathan stops, too, confused. "I'm flying to the UK," he repeats. "I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to come with me. The fans would love it; streamer content, favorite actress content, new location. They would love it."

"Nathan," you whisper, "I was offered a new act, but I have to fly to Iceland to film it for who knows how long."

"Oh."

Your ice cream suddenly didn't seem so appetizing. You both stand quietly, nervously thinking of a compromise.

You tread the water wearily, "How long have you been planning this?"

He looks up from his shoelaces. They were the same mismatched black-and-white Converse he was wearing the first day you met him. "I've been planning this since January," he told you quietly.

He has been planning this since January?  You thought. He has been working on this project even when he was helping me while I was grieving.

There was a beat of silence before Nathan breaks it. "When do you leave to go to Iceland?"

You shrug, slumping into the park bench standing to your right.

"Can you find out?" He asks, sitting beside you.

You take your phone out of your pocket and dial the most recent number, putting it on speaker.

"Hello, this is Avaan Norin, who may this be?" He drones boringly.

"Hi, this is Y/N L/N. I wanted to ask some questions."

"Y/N, hello again! What would you like to know?"

You glance at Nathan before you ask. When you're leaving, he mouths.

"If I, hypothetically, were to accept the cast call, when would I leave for Iceland?"

"You would leave in around two weeks."

You look despairingly at Nathan. "Okay, thank you!" You hang up.

"You should accept it."

You look up. "What?"

"You should accept it," Nathan repeats. "You need to keep up your career."

"What about you?"

"Well, I would, also, have to continue my career."

"But that's not fair!" You exclaim. "You have been planning the trip for months! You should be my main focus right now, seeing as you took care of me for so long. I have to pay you back somehow."

"You can pay by taking the job," he says simply. "Y/N, you don't have to make anything up to me; I did all of that for you, not for me."

His soothing tone turned condescending in your ears. "No." You insisted stubbornly. "No, no, no! I want to be there with you! What kind of a person do you think I am? What kind of significant other am I? I have-"

"Y/N!" He barks suddenly. You stop your rant and widen your eyes in surprise. "Give me a break! Having to keep up with you and my career is hard enough; I haven't been able to upload anything since the cake video."

He gets up and starts pacing the coarse dirt path, his hands running irritatedly through his hair. "For the love of god, Y/N, I love you, so, so much, but please, I'm always thinking of you. I always think, 'Ah, what would be better for Y/N? What mood would she be in today?' You are in my head, constantly- consistently." He halts and stares at you with piercing gray eyes. "We never confirmed our relationship to the masses, but your fans are conspiring- and only your fans." He laughs, unhumorously. "Do you know how I know they're not my fans?"

You got cut off before you got to answer. "Because they hate me," he chokes out, his eyes seeming like they were crackling with thunder. "They view me nothing less of a peasant. You are a queen to them while I am just a lowly bottom feeder groveling at your feet. I thought that by bringing you with me to the UK would help with that- it would show my fans and yours that we are at the same level, that we love eachother." He takes a breath.

"But now I think its better if you go to Iceland."

Time stops; at least it felt like it for you.

Those words echo through your skull, bouncing off the walls and jabbing at your brain repeatedly.

I think its better if you go to Iceland, I think its better if you go to Iceland, I think its better if you go to Iceland.

"So you don't want anything to do with me anymore?"

Nathan frowns. "What?" He asks sharply.

"You don't want to prove anything to my fans. You just want to move on and let them think what they want of you." You stand up and try to level with his height. "What I'm trying to do is to help you- to help the situation you are in, to do exactly what you said- show my fans that we love eachother and that you aren't using me for clout."

You jab a finger at his chest. "You are a good guy, Nathan. And Ranboo, too. He wouldn't just give up like this; he would get demotivated, yes, but never give up on something. But never would I have thought that he would back down from this. Especially this."

"Well, maybe you're wrong," he hums lowly. 

"Then I'm disappointed." You turn and go back up the path you and Nathan walked down, leaving Nathan standing alone.

1113 words

NOTE!
author, make this gender-neutral please. yeah i realize that and its getting on my nerves. wELL CHANGE IT. ILL DO IT WHEN I FINISH WRITING THE WHOLE THING OK

also, im so god damn sorry for the lack of updates- im not really feeling it, writing-wise

i finially worked up the courage to finish this chapter and i have somewhat of an outline for the next, so we'll see if that comes out soon

and, POLL TIME!
69 in comments if you read on your phone
420 if you read on a computer
PLEASE PICK ONLY ONE cos if i see both, i will not count your input!

so, yeah, thank you for putting up with me <3

love you,
bubye :)
-Ra