(♥) Black Butler X Reader (♥){OLD BOOK!!!!!}

{𝔹𝔹 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤} 𝕡.𝟚

P/1: Trio "Butlers"
Claude: "In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?"

Shigeru: *turning to Sebastian* "How tall are you?"
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 Shigeru: "Claude, my old arch enemy."

 Sebastian: "... I thought I was your arch enemy?"

 Shigeru: "I have a life outside of you, Sebastian."
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Claude: "Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Shigeru?"

Shigeru: "... No."

Sebastian: "I do!"

Claude: "I know, Sebastian."

Sebastian:" I'm sad!"

Claude:" I know, Sebastian."
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P/2: Trio "Nobles"
Ciel : "WHY. why did you give Alois a KNIFE?!"

Y/n: "I'm sorry. he said he felt unsafe."

Ciel : "Now I feel unsafe!"

Y/n: "I'm sorry... would you like a knife?"
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*The group is getting into the car*
Ciel : "I'm driving."

Y/n, out of view: "Shotgun!"

Alois, turning to face Y/n: "Aww! But you had it on the way here-"

Everyone except Y/n: "WOAH-"

Y/n, holding a shotgun: "No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*"
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Ciel : "What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?"

Y/n: "Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-"

Alois: "Smad."
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 P/3: Duo's
*Shigeru and Y/n skipping stones on lake*

Shigeru: "It's such a beautiful evening."

Y/n: "Take that you fucking lake!"
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Ciel: "I'm gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why."

Sebastian: "Only if you also don't ask why"

Sebastian: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* "Take your pick."

Ciel:

Sebastian:

Ciel: "This one is fine."
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Alios: "What is your biggest weakness?"

Claude: "I can be uncooperative."

Alios: "Okay, can you give me an example?"

Claude: "No."
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P/4:
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*

Y/n: "Thank you."

Shigeru: "oh no."

Alios: "*cries* I love you too."

Claude: "Sounds fake but okay."

Ciel: *A flustered mess*

Sebastian: "Can I get a refund."
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 Ciel: "Y/n isn't answering their phone."

Eliot: "I'll call."

Ciel: "Alios and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-"

Y/n: "Hello?"
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P/4: Y/n manor

Y/n: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Shigeru: "Rude."

 Juuzou: "That's fair."

Twins: "Not again."

 Shuu: "Are you going to want this back?"
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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Shigeru: "So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know."

Everyone:

Juvia: "...I did. I broke it."

Shigeru: "No. No you didn't. Kaoru?"

Kaoru: "Don't look at me. Look at Shuu."

 Shuu: "What?! I didn't break it."

Kaoru: "Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"

Shuu: "Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken."

Kaoru: "Suspicious."

 Shuu: "No, it's not!"

Hikaru: "If it matters, probably not, but Juuzou was the last one to use it."

Juuzou: "Liar! I don't even drink that crap!"

Hikaru: "Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?"

Juuzou: "I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Hikaru!"

Juvia: "Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Shigeru."

Shigeru: "No! Who broke it!?"

Everyone:

Hikaru: "Shigeru... Shuu's been awfully quiet."

Shuu: "rEALLY?!"

*Everyone starts arguing*

Shigeru, being interviewed: "I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it."

Shigeru: "I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick....Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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Shigeru: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Juvia: "What if it bites me and it dies!?"

Shuu: "Then you're poisonous. Bloody hell, Juvia, learn to listen."

Hikaru: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Kaoru : "That's voodoo."

Juuzou: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Juvia: "That's correlation, not causation."

Hikaru: "What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?"

Kaoru : "That's kinky."

Shigeru: "Oh my."

*Secret Spoiler ( •̀ ω •́ )*
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 Shigeru: "Paula and I don't use pet names."

Y/n: "I see. Hey, what do bees make?"

Shigeru: "Honey?"

Paula: "Yes, dear?"

Shigeru: 

Y/n: "Don't ever lie to my face again."
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Paula: "Okay, truth or dare?"

Shigeru: "Truth."

Paula: "How many hours have you slept this week?"

Shigeru: "...Dare."

Paula: "Go to bed."

Shigeru: "I don't like this game."
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Paula: "Shigeru and I are having a baby."

 Y/n: "That's gre-"

Shigeru, slamming adoption papers on the table: "It's you, sign here."

A/n: If you like to make your own prompts use incorrect quotes generator. Thank u and see u in the next chapter.