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She hadn't talked to him for four days. After their show in Phoenix, all of girlcrush decided to take the night off and head back to the buses while the boys split up immediately. Ambrose made the point of staying with Sky for the night and the following day of travel to Colorado, and Jude avoided Ezra at all costs. The guitarist had been giving him the cold shoulder ever since he found out Ezra had disobeyed orders while Jude had followed them.
He still expected to see Billie while giving her the space she needed, but she remained elusive during their next stop. In fact, the only time he was able to catch a glimpse of her was when she was out on stage singing. He couldn't stay in the wings for long, though, with her soft, sultry voice nearly breaking his heart.
So, instead, Ezra spent a majority of his time in Colorado getting high and making calls to his team in an attempt to try and dig him and her out of this hole. No one seemed to mind the way he had withdrawn himself from the public eye by hiding out in his tour bus. Time began to morph slowly while they traveled up to Saint Paul, Minnesota.
Ezra, by this point, was inconsolable. He hadn't attempted to reach out to Billie out of fear he'd scare her away. He needed to give her this time, but he couldn't help but wonder what space would do to them. Perhaps she'd clear her head and realize Ezra Moore was no good for her or her career. That thought alone causes him to swallow a few more pills and await for the show the following evening.
He was woken up around two in the afternoon with a throbbing headache. Jeff had coaxed him out of bed with a coffee and cigarette, to which Ezra begrudgingly obliged. Skipping out on soundcheck, he hid on the roof of the venue in an attempt to clear his mind. Waiting to hear from Billie felt like a weight on his chest he couldn't quite shake, and all the terrible things he felt about himself began to cloud his mind.
He wasn't good for her or capable of loving. She was smart for running far away from him. Even if she was willing to give their relationship a chance, that voicemail and all the trauma it contained would ruin it anyways.
The show began and ended in a blur. Ezra couldn't really even remember performing. All he could see was those green eyes refusing to look at him as he passed by her on his way out to the stage. Suddenly, all the songs he was singing felt meaningless unless they were about her.
None of them were, though. The ones about Billie remained trapped in his mind or scribbled in an old notebook for no one to see or hear. He wouldn't put her out on display like he'd done for Madison. He refused to mock the relationship he'd cultivated with inadequate lyrics. No words would do justice in explaining the depth of his emotions for Billie Fields.
When they complete their set, Ezra makes a point of pushing past his bandmates and the crowd of crew members towards the back exit of the venue. He couldn't stand to see Billie in the green room after another dismissal. Besides, he destroyed any connection the two bands had with each other, leaving only room for awkward greetings before the two groups separated for the night.
