𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 | yuki s. x reader fanfic

forty-six - him

when will this

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

|Mission accomplished.

Although Yuki Sohma just felt tens of thousands of mental weight lift off his back, there was still this aching pain in his chest.

What was the cause of this small yet persistently annoying thing?

He had rarely found himself irritated, especially by small things. So what was it now? He sighed, defeated. He felt like a winner and a loser at the same time. He just won a battle that he had never imagined he would see himself fighting.

And yet, he was, too, losing a battle he had never imagined himself to be in. What was this leftover pain that he was feeling?

The more steps he took as he left the main Sohma Estate, the more the pain in his chest throbbed. In truth, he actually knew the cause of this, but he was not willing to admit it.

He wanted to see her.

But could he really face her, after what he had said to her that day? Yes, he might've survived the family head, he might've done something he never imagined he would accomplish, but the fact that he did hurt her did not change.

He still remembered what he had said and done that very day. He could've done anything else that would be harmless but he kissed her back, and it was the best and worst moment of his life. The feeling was amazing, but who would've been so foolish as to add to feelings of lingering just as the two were to leave each other?

He could never forgive himself for that. He was selfish for a moment, and look what that became. A source of pain for both. It probably even hurt her more than him, since he was the one to do it when she least expected him to.

The lowly feelings of guilt clouded his heart, and with every passing second he was more convinced that he should not see her - that would definitely give her more confusion and pain and he had already done enough of that.

No more. He didn't deserve to see her again.

But how else was he to satisfy the heartbroken part of him? The part that was so selfish, the part of him that really, really wanted to see her again. Just because... he loved her.

He was sure of it. That was the first thing in his entire life he was really sure of. Very.

And so, as a small reward for all that he had done today, he allowed himself to go to that place. The very place that he had first truly met her - the place where it all began and ended. Funny, isn't it?

How magical it had felt when it started and how desperately torn he had felt when he made it end with his own very hands. He leaned against the railing that overlooked the water, both of his forearms dangling over the bar, facing the river.

He sighed. He really did get himself involved in something he was not going to be able to relish any longer, huh? He deserved it, though. He destroyed it single-handedly, all by himself.

The silver-haired boy was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice the movement behind him. It was too late when he heard someone lean over the railings next to him, facing the other way, the road.

His eyes widened. The hair, scent, everything - it was unmistakable. And the next phrase they uttered did nothing but to prove his suspicions. The voice. It was hard to think of anything but this person's name at that very moment.

"How have you been?"

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

pain in my chest stop?

words: 632
published: 30/12/2021