The Ultimate Award

Chapter 2

WARNING : TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD(DISCUSSES SUICIDAL TENDENCIES)

He stops abruptly, and I know he saw me.  The way I’m dressed right now, no one could confuse me with a high class escort.  Least of all the man who knows every outline of my body. 

I hear him inhale sharply.  Time stands still and everything goes into pause mode.  Everything, but my hand, which lifts the glass one more time to take a sip.

I close my eyes and put on the “princess facade,” as he calls it.

Slowly I turn to face him.  I don't expect to see anything but a controlled mask as by now he had ample time to erase the surprise. Too bad I missed most of it.  Still, his mouth is just now closing.  Guess the surprise worked.

“What the hell are you doing here?” The soft voice comes with a deadly stinger.

The wounded heart mafia sent me, Mike, the jig is up, and I want your head on a platter.

“Getting a drink?” 

The confident hue makes it almost sound possible.  If only my hand wasn’t trembling, the rattling of the ice betraying my true state. I’m a mess inside. 

He shakes his head and a sarcastic laughter escapes. 

“Why, you emptied out your own hotel bar? Hope you don’t mind if I join you.”

“Hope you don’t mind that I joined you.”

His eyes look at me from behind his curtain of hair as he pours a drink.

“I had something else in mind. But I guess you’ll do.”

Perfect. Just what I need. Encouragement to dig his heart out with a spoon.  Keep up the cocky tone, you little wired freak!

“Yeah, I met the little lady in the elevator. Hope you didn’t plan on forking out a fortune.  She looked a bit worn.”

“Where did you stash her body?”

“Why, are you into necrophilia these days?”

“You’re gross.”

“Well, I guess so.  Since you couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough today. What was that about? What am I? Your fluffer? Wanted to keep the hard on going for the paid show? Can’t get any for free, Mike?”

Why am I losing my cool? The plan is for me to stay nonchalant and disconnected. Too bad my soul is tethered to the mothership right in front of me, and it hurts like hell to see him trying to sever the ties.

“As a matter of fact I had several offers today, thank you.”

I swear I did not mean to throw that glass. As a matter of fact, I jump more than he when it hits the wall behind him.  Guess part of him knew what was coming, and he was ready for the dodge.

We stare at each other, and I can't stop from shaking with rage. This is about so much more than feeling rejected tonight. It’s about feeling small and not worth any serious effort on his part. 

Its about never being taken into consideration. It's always about his vision- and when things don't go as planned he comes up with alternate solutions that fit him. To hell with anyone else. It started with him wanting a baby right then and there, and it ended with more of the same. When I asked him if he had not learned anything in almost 7 years, his answer was that obviously, he was not going to involve Debbie again. But no- my fears didn't matter on that go-around, either.

Michael's laugher startles me out of my ruminations. What the fuck is so funny about me using him for target practice?

"Girl, you' some kind of crazy!"