long ago Father time and Mother nature decided to conceive a child and when it was born all the lords of the Holidays gathered on the Moon to watch it be delivered. Santa, The thanksgiving turkey, St. Peter, Abraham Lincoln, The tooth fairy Pumpkin Head, Jesus, The fat Calf, The Easter Bunny, St Valentin, and the happy birthday clown watched as a new holiday was Born. At midnight, January 1st the new years baby was born.
Santa gave him a wrapped present, The thanksgiving turkey gave the baby his right leg, the most juiciest part of his body. St peter gave him a four leaf clover, for good luck, Abraham Lincoln gave him a day off of school, The tooth fairy gave him five dollars cash, Pumpkin head gave him some candy, Jesus gave him coupons for free tap dancing lessons, and the Easter bunny gave him a chocolate egg. The fat Calf gave him some green and purple beads, as well as a WICKED hangover, and Valentin gave him a candy heart, while the Happy birthday clown gave him some cake.
"Ho! Ho! Ho! so what exactly does this son of a bitch Do?" Santa asked "Mesus Christ! watch your language, Nicolas" Jesus Exclaimed. "We'll just have to wait and see" Father time stated. Suddenly an enormous ball appeared over the earth. It immediately dropped giving the earth a light tap. Everyone stared "The Dropping of a ball to signify the start of a new year" Father time Whispered "How exactly does dropping a ball signify the start of a new year" Pumpkin head questioned, logically. Mother nature smiled warmly "Its not about what it signifies to you, its about what it signifies to them."
She pointed at the people down on earth. They saw the ball drop and celebrated, they would kiss at midnight, party, and yell, Happy New Year! they would come up with resolutions. Woah woah woah. "The first new years Celebration was celebrated in 45 B.C By Julius Caesar, so can someone explain to me why Jesus Christ, St. Valentin Abraham Lincoln, The tooth Fairy, The Halloween dude, the mardi gras cow, thanksgiving turkey, the Easter bunny, St. Peter, and Fucking Santa Claus even exist right now! none of your holidays have even been made yet!" the happy Birthday clown Shouted Everyone stared him Down "help me out here, Abe" Lincoln shook his head, and turned away. Jesus Pulled out his custom made Lcp .380 and shot The happy birthday clown in the foot
"You better stop poking around, Clown... you might not like what you find" Jesus Growled menacingly. Everyone was quiet for a moment, then The happy birthday clown clutched his shot foot, holding it up to his eye, and started hopping around on his other one "Yaowza Babowza!" He yelled, comically, looking at everyone through the bullet wound on his foot. Everyone clapped and laughed, as the Happy birthday clown preformed his act.
Mother nature and father time started to realize that their son wasn't aging. Every new year their one year old would regress back into the state he was born in. He learned how to talk, His mind progressed, but he would never have access to anything that an adult would.
Many years late- screw it. Year- 1977
Happy birthday the clown and some of the other holidays just stopped doing their jobs . Santa stopped delivering presents, and people just started buying them. The tooth fair stopped exchanging money for teeth, and people just did it themselves all the holidays just quit. They felt like people didn't need them anymore. The only holiday left was New years, but even the New years baby had stopped the huge, planetary scale ball droppings. He just hired some new Yorkers to take care of it.
The New years baby was headed to Harlem to speak with Abraham Lincoln. It was a few hours to the New year, and the baby knew that once the clock struck 12 he would lose his ability to walk, just like every year, so he hurried on. He saw Abe on his front porch talking to a tall man, each with beers in their hands. The man looked down at the new years baby, who expected him to try and pick him up and return him to his mother but the man just stared. "Is this the baby you were talking about, Lincoln?" The man asked "Yup, The new years Baby. Lets Go inside" Abe Said
YOU ARE READING
Clans
Fantasy15 year old Den longs for adventure, and gets more than he Bargained for. Welcome to a word of clans, Shrouded in Monsters, Mystery, Violence and one boy trying to make sense of it all.
