The Beautifully Broken

- Him -

"Draco!"

The harsh tone of his father's voice travelled up the spiral staircase, along the vacant and dark hallway and through the keyhole of his locked bedroom door. Draco's eyes snapped open and he sat up with urgency. His breath was sharp and painful as it caught itself in his ribcage. His heartbeat echoed as its muffled sound drowned out any other. The cold sweat had matted his blonde hair, droplets swimming from his clenched jawline and down his bare chest.

He hadn't been asleep long, it is not as easy to drift off these days. He has the same image play everytime he closes his eyes like some kind of fucked up television show.

The way she looked at him.

Her scream.

No matter how much he tried to distract himself this summer; no matter how much alcohol he consumed to drown the image into the deepest cove of his mind, or how often he tried to fuck the image away with some girl bent over the bathroom sink, when his eyes closed he saw her. He saw that night replay like it was the first time. Every damn time.

Draco ripped the blanket from his legs and pulled on his discarded boxer shorts, followed by his baggy, bottle green chequered pyjama bottoms. He grabbed his hand held towel and draped it over his shoulders before heading out of his room, along the dark and vacant hallway and down the spiral staircase.

He walked into the living area. His mother was sat on the leather sofa, her left palm rubbing her forehead as his father stood by the fireplace, seemingly admiring the family portrait that hung above it in it's heavy frame.

"Alright?" Draco asked, clearing his throat.

Lucius looked over at Draco, "Your mother has just told me."

Draco looked from left to right in confusion, "... Told you what?"

"Hogwarts. Draco, you can't be serious." Lucius stepped towards him.

Draco rolled his eyes and flopped down on the vacant sofa opposite his mother, "You know, you have got to be the only father to be disappointed in his son wanting to finish his education."

"Draco, it is not safe for you there. Are you seriously that naive? You are a death eater, you were in aliance with the Lord himself..."

"Were. Past tense, father."

"It doesn't matter, son." Lucius sounded desperate. "Every student and teacher in that place will not forgive you for the things you have done. You can't make those wrongs right, my boy. No matter how much you want to."

Draco looked at his father and for a split second, thought he may be right. He shook his head, "No, I can make it right. All I have to do is prove to everyone that..."

"That what? You have changed? Don't be ridiculous, Draco. You are still a Slytherin. You still attempted to murder Dumbledore, you still aided in all the terrible things that the Lord did to your classmates. The battle wouldn't have been able to happen if it weren't for you..."

"I didn't want to do any of those things." Draco raised his voice. He swallowed, "He made me... You made me." He said quietly.

Lucius sat down beside Draco, "I am sorry, son. It's not fair, I know that. But what's done is done, regardless of the reason why. I want you to be safe. So you are not going back there, I forbid you."

Draco stared back at his father, "You forbid me?... You can't start treating me like a child after the things you forced me to do for that reptile".

"Draco! Don't call him names!"

"He is dead, father! Stop being so afraid of him." Draco began to raise his voice once more. "All I want to do is move forward with my life, make up for the things I did and be me. The real me. I can't pretend to be this big, bad wolf anymore".

"And you think going back there is going to patch everything up, do you? What do you think will happen exactly? That you'll have another go with the sorting hat and he will put you in bloody HUFFLEPUFF!" Lucius bellowed.

Draco looked over at his mother, "Mum?" he questioned, his eyes pleading.

Narcissa sighed, "I see both sides, darling. You are my clever boy and I for one am so proud that you want to finish your education and graduate... But your father is right. It just simply isn't safe for you there. People will be out for revenge and I don't want to risk losing you... I can't lose anyone else" her lip quivered.

Lucius stood up, "You know Potter won't let it go. Think about it, Draco. Him, carrot cake and the mudblud.."

"Oi!" Draco snapped, without thought.

Lucius continued, "After what Aunt Bella did to that girl..."

"Shut up! Just shut up, for fuck sake!" Draco covered his ears and turned his back to him. His heart started pounding so hard against his ribcage that he could have sworn he heard the third rib down on the right crack.

"Draco..." Lucius gasped, putting a hand on his chest, his eyes blinking double time.

Draco spun around to face him, "I am going back. I am not letting Voldemort ruin whatever I have left. I am not putting the rest of my life on hold for him. He lost. We lost. I am not going to hide away forever. I am not a coward, father. I am a Malfoy and unlike you, I am going to bloody well start acting like it. I am not living in the shadow of my mistakes. It is time to face the consequences and who knows, maybe in time they will learn to forgive me just like I hope to one day forgive myself. Because there is no one that hates me more than I hate myself for the things I have done and for the people I have hurt. So you can shout at me all you like, father. But whether I have your blessing or not I am going back to Hogwarts and I will graduate with a full education under my belt. For once, I am going to finish something I have started."

His parents stared back at him and although he was certain his father was annoyed, he also new that he had gained some of his respect. Draco walked towards the living room door. He stopped, "I would really love it if you could wave me off in the morning. Train leaves at 11am sharp. Platform 9 and three quarters." He turned to them, "It would mean a lot to me if you were there... for the first and last time."

Draco then headed back up the spiral staircase, along the dark and vacant hallway to his bedroom, locking the door behind him.