The Apprentice || Anakin Skywalker x Reader

69 - You Will

2.9k words

Sorry for the meme 💀 but the chapter number.. I couldn't help it.

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Countdown: 8 months

Vader's POV
As I laid in bed, I stared up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh and watered eyes. It took everything in me not to go after her, but she asked for space, and I was going to respect that.

But my heart was beating heavy in my chest with nervousness and I wondered if this was something she could ever forgive me for. Which is why it took me this long to tell her; hell I was never even going to, but Maul's words about honesty had gotten to me.

Stupid fucking honesty.

I groaned as I grabbed her pillow and placed it over my face as Milo snuggled closer to my side. He could feel my agitation and was trying his best to comfort me; it wasn't working, but still, I bless his efforts.

Finding out that her mother was a Jedi that had died by my hand wasn't what I thought I'd learn when I went into her mind that day. All I wanted to know was where she came from, how she ended up in that disgusting place, and gain an explanation on her sensitivity to the force. Granted I did find exactly what I was looking for, but I just wasn't expecting it to be that.

And now that she knows, every-time I close my eyes, all I can see is her mothers face, and her pleading eyes. It was as if she was trying to tell me in that moment that she had someone waiting on her somewhere, but she never got the chance to speak. Not before I stuck my lightsaber straight into her throat, an act I never thought I'd regret.

But of course, with my fucking luck, this is how it had to go. Maybe I never should have told her, I doubt she's going to look at me the same again.

And now I had a shitty idea in my head, and it was going into her mind and taking away all that she's learned. But not only would that be the most disrespectful thing I could ever do to her, besides the obvious; I would still know, and I would walk around the rest of my life with that heavy weight on my conscience.

So no, it's better that she knows, she deserves to know.

So now I just have to live with it and hope she'll still want to be with me in the end. And I know I shouldn't feel so insecure; we're married. But I was married once before, and a ring didn't stop her from deciding she didn't want me.

And unlike Padme, I can't bring myself to hurt (y/n). So I'd just have to live my life knowing she was out there, inevitably growing a life with someone else.

I sighed again and held the pillow tight against my face, staining it with a few stray tears that broke free. I was way too drunk to be thinking about any of this.

I was about to attempt to get a little sleep so I could shut the annoying voices out of my head; the same ones that were feeding me all these insecurities. But my attention was pulled to Milo who popped his head up in alert.

I moved the pillow away from my face and looked at him with furrowed brows; he had his ears perked and his gaze locked on the door. Then, he began to growl, and not his low warning growl that I was used to hearing when someone would simply pass by the door; but he sounded vicious. The fur on his back stood up while he snarled and he appeared ready to kill.