The Truth About Lies[COMPLETED]✓

🏵️ Chapter 30🏵️: A healing vacation for Justin.

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Warning: This chapter contains swearing and self harm. In case it triggers you, please just skip it.
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{Justin's P.O.V}

My heart was stinging me. My eyes also stung. My head was on fire. My body was having periodic goosebumps appearance. The world seemed to be turning. I couldn't see things clearly for my vision was clouded but I still held unto the bottle, like it was the one that'll prevent me from falling.

"Wow, you're pregnant"

"Yes, Justin. I'm going to be a mother"  I remembered her say, with all joy and happiness.

I should be happy for her. Fuck, I hate myself.

Why can't I just be happy for her?

She's my friend. My best friend.

And she's having the best time of her life. I should be happy that she's having the child of the man she loves so much.

But my heart doesn't like the news my brain keeps telling it. That news was like a sharp knife stabbed deep into my heart. The pain was more like an agony for me.

  How do I explain it?

"Don't you think we've had enough to drink, Justin?" I heard her ask. That was Tina. Her voice reminded me that I wasn't here alone.

We had originally come here to have a talk, but then she ordered alcohol and here we are, drinking away our sorrows instead of having a heartfelt conversation.

  I opened the seventh Alcoholic bottle and chugged down half the contents without a break for fresh air. The alcohol was supposed to be drowning away my sorrows but it seems like my sorrows were drowning the alcohol.

  This would never have happened if I had told her my feelings eight years ago. I hate myself. The fact that I had loved her before Ezra came into the picture. That I was too shy to tell her my feelings, so I dropped anonymous letters in her locker, forging my father's handwriting. That I was part of the reason Ezra broke up with her. I knew why Ezra broke her heart but kept silent, cause I just wanted her to my bloody self without telling her why. That one of the fucking reasons I hate Dure, is because he snatched my woman from me.

I picked up the bottle which I just recently opened and smashed it to the wall. It scattered and the people sitting there had to leave the place.

"Smashing competition?... I like that" I heard Tina say as she took her own bottle and smashed it on the wall.

  I hate him. For taking away the woman I love. I hate him. I also hate her. For not noticing my feelings towards her, I hate her. But most of all, I hate myself. For not being able to tell her what I felt, I hate myself. More than I hate anyone. Fuck.

I took one of the empty bottles, and smashed it on the wall. Tina took another one and smashed it on the same place. She seemed to be enjoying it while I was wishing that Dure was the bloody wall which I was smashing the bottles on. I wish I saw him bleed and beg me to stop.

I hate him. I hate her too. I hate her more than I love her. She made me go through pain. She made me yearn for her attention. She made me think about her throughout the night. She made me have sleepless night. All for what?

Just to see her marry someone else?

Or just to see her happy with a man who she should clearly hate?

Or just to see her have a happy home with someone else?

But I hate myself more, cause I know that I could have avoided this. I could have stopped this. I could have just told her my feelings.