TRAPPED AGAINST DEATH

54.

I've been in this hell hole for four weeks now. I hate it here, there are always guards watching me, even in my sleep. My mother has been there and talked to me and calmed me in situations where I felt like killing myself. I've felt like that so many times when I'm in the shower and look at the razor blades there. My father has been talking about marriage, fucking marriage. I'm a big girl now and need an heir, his own words. I wanna fucking kill him, I want to kill everyone in that house. I rarely get food, I rarely get to pee, I rarely get to do fucking things. I'm so sick of this, all of this bullshit.

I would be sitting there on the bathroom tiles, scratching myself while looking at the blades to convince myself that it wasn't going to get me anywhere, never. My mom would sit down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder and say. "Remember, you aren't his daughter. You're mine and you will always be. I'm so proud of you." And I would always calm down a bit but then tell her that I wasn't able to do this anymore. She would always be understanding every time, no matter what it was.

I would sometimes see Romeo in my dreams, I should say nightmares instead. Every nightmare ends with me getting shot by him. Maybe it just symbols that I got betrayed so brutally that it felt like a goddamn gunshot. I kinda wish that he had shot me instead of giving me back to him. Giving up on me. I hate him so much for everything. For kidnapping me. For locking me into that room. For making me fall in love with him. For making me fuck him. I hate everything about him. I wish he was fucking dead.

Once Diego, my cousin, came over. He came into my room and sat down next to me on the bed. I refuse to call it mine because it's not.

"Diego, dad is gonna marry me away." That was what I told him. He didn't look surprised and he didn't look upset either. Nothing. I wasn't surprised, it just hurts to see him react as he did. "What did you expect? You betrayed us." He simply answered. If dad's going to marry me away, I'm sure he's going to look for the worst man walking on this earth purposely.

"I was kidnapped." Was my excuse for pulling a gun out and pointing it at him. "You were kidnapped, yes. But you could've waited for me at that fucking mall. You walked away because you were in love with him even back then, you were just in denial. That's the thing about you, Sienna. You're always in denial first, no matter what it's about. You did this to yourself. Not me. Not dad—"

"Did you just call him dad?" I said and distanced myself from him on the bed. His jaw clenched as he looked down at his fists and then at me. He got up and looked at the guards in the room. "Give her some nice bruises." That was what he told them. I had bruises everywhere after that, and I realized that I had a brother. Maybe we didn't have the same mother, because that sure as hell isn't my mom's son. I walked downstairs and knocked on my dad's office. I slowly opened the door and saw him sitting there, with a gun aimed against me.

"Can I go out and walk for a bit? I haven't been able to get some fresh air for a long time now."

"No, but about the wedding, I've found you a husband. He's in the Irish mafia, we have to work with them to take the De Carlo's. You've betrayed me, make it up to me and marry this guy." Irish, are you fucking kidding me? It could be Sean, I fucking hope it is. I went quiet and looked down to not seem too suspicious.

"What's his name?" I asked and slowly looked up to meet my dad's eyes. "Cillian." He answered. I let out a shaky sigh and was about to leave before my dad stopped me and told me to come to sit down on the chair on the other side of his desk. "Where are you going? He's on his way right now." Dad said with a laugh. Like he was happy about what was going on. I fucking hate him so much. I looked around and observed what was in his office, and accidentally got eye contact with one of the guards.

A sudden knock on the door, as the door slowly opened and my whole body was almost shaking. "Sir, he's here." The guard said, my heartbeat felt like it was circling in my whole body. My dad nodded as a blonde guy walked in with a briefcase, taking the seat next to him as an officiant walked in with him and gave some papers to my father.