I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

Rain's Hellish Job

(Author's Note: Hey guys! Do you remember Rain? You know, Alice's favorite shadow guard? This is from their POV! Enjoy~!)

I met Master on the streets when I was six years old and I tried to beg since she seemed rich. She was two years old at the time, and was waltzing around the town like it was her own personal playground. A very eccentric, pure-looking little girl was what I saw. When I clutched the hem of her dress and looked at her with my shining eyes, I clearly remembered what Master did.

Instead of giving me a silver coin, she grabbed me and flung me into a white portal before following me. I was very confused, and very scared. All I wanted was a coin, and she pushed me into this white space. After she came in, she looked at me with shining eyes, and asked in her babyish voice, "Be my shadow."

That was my first encounter with Master.

----

I agreed to her proposal, and thought, I get food and shelter, so everything will be fine. I thought, Oh well, I'll be a noble's plaything, but I won't be hit that much, so it's fine.

I was wrong.

Master, herself, put me through a hellish training regime.

And when I was ten years old, I began to start my missions. Killing, stealing, assassinating, investigating, seduction...

Master always said every time we stole, or killed, or beguiled someone, "We're borrowing them. As soon as we're done, we'll return it." or "They deserved to die, they did bad things." She said it in such an innocent, pure voice, I had to believe her, even though I knew her intentions.

And after so many missions, so many midnight dinners, and my first meetings with the other shadows, I knew.

That Master was unhinged.

She would do anything her heart desired.

And that she was definitely not patient.

----

When we went to another continent, I can't say I was surprised. Master was always unpredictable, she'd do what she wanted.

But what was surprising is that Master wanted to be... normal. And that she actually succeeded. Of course, she couldn't cover up her true nature so easily.

When she killed that teacher, I instantly thought of one of Master's drunk songs she sung in town. Mamma Mia! Here I go again~!

And I was right. She couldn't cover up her true nature. While I was running Master's errand, someone butted into her 'normal high school life'.

Prince Killian Gazania.

----

He was up to his usual antics as the idol of the school, trying to strike up a conversation. I watched from the top of the school building as Master kabedoned him onto the wall and let out her killing intent. He had been bothering her for weeks. Stalking her, smiling at her with his cute grin.

Although Master thought of herself as a very patient person, I knew the truth. She was ruthless and cruel when she snapped. And if she was truly patient, then she wouldn't snap as often as she did. Like she did with Ragdoll. Or with Hothead - I mean Punching Bag. Or with Idiot Prince. (Master really likes naming people).

"Shut the fuck up, bastard, before I tear your fucking dick out. Prince Killian, you motherfucker, I hope you die a thousand deaths and get your shitty dick pulled out one million times so you'll never be able to have sex again." (Master really likes tearing people's penis' out, I'm glad I'm not a boy.) "Rain."

I sighed and jumped down from my viewing point. "You called, Master?"

"Uhmmm... I think I snapped."

"Yes, you did indeed, Master. You lost the bet. And now I can have a two week vacation, correct?"

"...Yes. But before you go, throw this dude into my space."

"Yes, Master."

I hope Master doesn't make too much of a mess this time. I don't want to work overtime... I thought as I dragged the prince in and watched the portal close behind me.

----

"...Where am I?"

Underneath my mask, I was very annoyed by this development. Why do I have to babysit the victim today? Isn't it Nex's job? Where was he, anyway? I changed the tone of my voice and replied.

"I am not permitted to divulge such information."

"How did I get here?"

"I am not permitted to divulge such information." I kept my speech monotone, my eyes dead, just as Master taught me.

"Who are you?"

"I am not permitted to divulge such information."

"Is this kidnapping?"

"I am not permitted to divulge such information."

----

"So... I'm allowed to move around the mansion, then?"

"Yes, esteemed guest."

"And... you're saying that you want to guide me around the mansion?"

"Yes, my master always requests guests to go to a specific room to pass the test before they move around the mansion."

"Alright... then lead me to it."

"Yes, esteemed guest. Please come this way."

----

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=astISOttCQ0

"Oh I'm a gummy bear! Yes, I'm a gummy bear! Oh I'm a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear~ I'm a jelly bear~ 'Cause I'm a gummy bear~ Oh I'm a movin, groovin, jammin, singing gummy bear~ Oh yeaoooh~"

I watched the prince sing that horrific song, and sighed as I pressed the record button.

Master called this the 'karaoke' room, whatever that means. And every time she killed someone, or detained them, I (or Nex, Quinn, or Zen) had to 'record' them singing the 'Gummy Bear' song in this horrific. It was the one hundredth time I've heard that song in my life, and I was, honestly, very sick of it.

Sometimes, Master watched 'videos' of her victims singing the 'Gummy Bear' song, and fainted from laughter. I don't understand the lyrics, since it's in something called 'English', but I presume it must be funny since she has tears in her eyes as she watches people sing it.

"Ba Ba Bidubidubi Yum Yum~ Ba Ba Bidubidubi Yum Yum~ Ba Ba Bidubidubi Yum Yum~ Three Times You Can Bite Me~"

"Oh Oh Oh Oh~ badudi party didi~ Bab bi du bi dam gummy bear~ Oh Oh Oh Oh~ bi du bi dam dam~ Ba du bi da bi didi gummy bear party pop~"