All Things That Fall

18: hearts

I LIKED ATLAS. More than a friend.

That was the big realization that hit me two days ago when we were sitting together underneath that tree  with the birds above us.

While it was a staggering one, it wasn't shocking.

Yes, it was unsettling- but I had it coming, didn't I?

It was like a slow build-up of feelings and understanding them over the last few weeks. Ultimately, it all led back to him.

I wasn't going to waste time trying to deny it or convince myself otherwise.

What I had been pondering over, was how he might feel.

The more I thought about it, the seemingly tiny possibility that Atlas might return those feelings was beginning to look more and more plausible.

Everything- from the way he acted around me, the things he said, the things he did- seemed to point in that direction.

Maybe I was being stupidly hopeful because I didn't know when, how or why he even chose to spare a second glance in my direction- but him returning those feelings wasn't impossible. Improbable, yes- just not impossible.

I was also afraid I'd start acting differently around him but surprisingly, it didn't happen. I had liked him for a while- I think- and now, I was just aware of it. Maybe I was more aware of him too, and everything he did- but that was about it.

A huge part of me was still very uncertain about this whole thing- and I was terrified about acting on those feelings since there was a good chance I might be wrong about it. I was putting off those thoughts because I couldn't help the way they made me terribly sad.

If or when I chose to think about it or make a decision on it, I was praying that it wouldn't be the wrong one.

"How are those masks coming along, Ophie?" I hear Mr. Rossi call from across the room.

I raise both my thumbs to give him a 'going good!' gesture but wrinkle my nose when I catch sight of the amount of paint I've got on my hands.

They were stained brown, green and yellow- and there was some glitter sticking to the back of my hands too.

That wasn't even the worst part.

I had very stupidly decided to wear my hair down to school today since it was still damp in the morning, and I hadn't thought to tie it back before starting to work on the props at play practice.

Now, with my hands in this state, I couldn't even put it back myself.

It was starting to annoy me because it would keep falling over my shoulder and into my face or eyes while I was working.

"They look great."

I look over my shoulder, holding my arms out in front of me so I don't touch anything with my dirty hands, and offer Atlas a small smile as he sits down, right behind me. His grey and blue eyes travel across the painted masks in front of me.