Sunflower Reviews

Kinal - Frozen Echoes: The Last HallowFrost

Reviewer: kinalhariya

Review: Frozen Echoes: The Last HallowFrost

Client: CryoFangs549

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Title and Cover:

Title is apt. I usually like 2-3 word titles but this title suits the story the most. 'Frozen' gives out the icy feel and the 'echoes' might mean the call for help. 'The Last Hallowfrost' shows us that the main lead is the last one alive in the story, giving us a short glimpse of what the story might be.

Cover actually covers what might have been left out by the title. We get to know about the main lead of the story in it. The ice and the dragon makes it fully relatable to the story. I would suggest working on the fonts of the title. You can make it more attractive. Overall, the cover is nice.

Blurb

The blurb is very interesting and is enough to hook the readers in. One thing I would advice, is to separate it into different paragraphs with space, to make it more eye-pleasing.

Like this-

[Ever since she watched her parents get snatched away from her by some wicked being, CryoFangs has been all alone, surviving with her only companion, a Snow-creature named Nimbus.

After growing to adulthood, she begins adventuring about, searching for more of her species, but gets nowhere....

At least, that's what she thinks.(and then continue your remaining blurb)]

Apart from this, the blurb was well-written.

Coming towards the chapters,

Great work done with the map and the descriptions of the species of dragons. I am not sure how much I would remember except the colours, but still the work done is commendable. The names chosen for the king and queen were so awesome.

Prologue

The sentence- "Your Majesty, we should leave...right Now".

I think the capitalized version to show more effect is great. It really shows off the emergency.

What a prologue! Seriously. You described everything so nicely that I visualized the entire scene. And the ending sentence- it really showed the dread and pain CryoFang must have felt. In a small sentence, every feeling was described.

Just a small advice-

Few sentences would sound much better if they were made two different sentences instead of being joined by a comma.

Main chapters-

Descriptions are great. The use of words like- Crunch, snap and all really add to the effect. I like how the author gently gives out info, without making it too noticeable/ ruining the flow.

More work can be done in chapter 2 and 3. Both of them have the potential to make things much more intriguing than they are.

Chapter 4 was good. As said before, the author is good with descriptions. However, I felt disconnected with the flow of the story. It looked abrupt after chapter 3. Why did Cryo start the journey to the palace suddenly?

Individually, I found the chapter great, but there is lack of connectivity between chapters.

The vision in chapter 5 gave me goose bumps. And the cliff-hanger at the end- Great writing!

Story has taken a new turn, and with her new visions, my curiosity and interest keeps rising.

I couldn't see the reason with few things. They readily agreed to leave their place. Even if Cryo knew one of them, a deep connection wasn't shown. When Cryo was alone all her life, then how did she know the rules on how to behave with a queen. And why would they share their past with strangers just like that.

The sudden test, but why? They were the guests, they weren't told anything. Why it happened may be a mystery that the author may tell later on, as the story progresses. However, my question is why Cryo and the prince readily accepted it before any question or doubt.

****

The last sentence of the tenth chapter was great. It left goose bumps behind. (I have read up to ten chapters for the review).

The action scene and magic chant was interesting to read. It was nicely portrayed and was easy to visualize.

Characters are shown nicely, but there is still potential in making them more distinctive. Author is great in describing the surroundings and if that skill is used to describe emotions of characters then it would make the readers connect with them more. The emotions in the prologue were much more reachable than the chapters.

I would personally like to read a long and heartfelt conversation between Cryo and Nimbus.

Writing style was good. There wasn't a single moment where I felt that information was dumped upon readers(it happens in most of the fantasy stories). So that's good. The use of Italics for inner thoughts was also nice. It really made it easy to distinguish the conversations among others and in her mind.

To be honest, this is my first dragon story and let me tell you, I am not at all disappointed. I was completely immersed in the story. Great job!!

Grammatical errors:

Starting letter should always be capitalized. In some areas, extra quotation marks are used. Few commas are missing.

Apart from these negligible errors, the grammar was on point.

Overall,

The story is unique and original. Individual chapters are good and nicely crafted. The connectivity and flow between the chapters needs a little work.

Book is really interesting and nicely written too. It has the potential to become more impressive, but the current version is also good.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!