Witch Doctors Inc: SEASON ONE (Completed!)

Part 5.2

CURRENT TIME
LILY

I teleport into the wrong room. When I return to my quarters, there's an upside-down ice cream cone on my head and my skirt drips chilli sauce.

What happened? Onyx's eyes are wide.

"I interrupted a very private conversation," I mutter.

I reach for the cone's energy, which feels like a delightful fizz of cold, and gently tease it out of my hair. Onyx helps by eating the ice cream.

Did you feel your way through like I told you? he asks in between licks.

"Yes," I grumble. "I'm tired. You're working me too hard, fleabag."

If your sense of direction were not so terrible you'd be whizzing around the planet by now.

Onyx is teaching me how to teleport. We do not make a good student-teacher team. We never have. I remember being a toddler, and Onyx teaching me how to put my own shoes on.

That is not the way this is done. You must put your foot into the shoe. Into it, Lily, not on top of it.

In the end I'd grown frustrated and thrown the shoe at him.

I look for something to throw at him now, but he's already settled into a cat-shaped loaf by the fireside. You may rest, Lily.

"Thanks, cat. Why the sudden empathy?"

I must account for the laziness of my students. It is part of my teaching practice.

I roll my eyes. Teleporting isn't easy, let me tell you. First you have to sort of loosen yourself, let your energy free of its solid bindings. Then you exist as energy, and honestly? It feels weird. You feel like you're an extension of the natural world, rather than a person in it.

To teleport somewhere safely you have to know the way. It's best if you've journeyed there physically before. You feel your way to your destination by sensing the energy of landmarks on the way. When you get to your end point - which happens quickly, because you move so much faster as energy - you feel a part of the world around you, and you don't want to pull yourself out of it by drawing your particles back together. Rematerializing, in other words, gives me whiplash.

When you are no longer so clumsy I would like to test your abilities with distance. You could go a great many places with teleportation. Is there anywhere you would like to travel to?

"Yes," I snap. "My bed."

Onyx yawns into the flames. I suppose you have never visited Taneria.

I snort. How would I visit Taneria? No one gets in or out of that hellhole. "Uh no," I reply. "Have you?"

Onyx considers my question, then decides to ignore it anyway. "What about Snowman's Hill? It's technically in Kadrea."

"I don't go near crazy places or crazy people, thanks."

Have it your way. But you are missing out. He shifts his weight so that his front legs are fully stretched out. I assume it is also a no for traversing the Deadly Desert.

"No homicidal deserts, no ice robots," I confirm.

Onyx sinks into the warmth, his eyes settling into a three-quarters closed position. If you must be that way, he says. Lily, I have been meaning to ask you...have you seen my rubber mouse toy? It is grey with silver whiskers.

"I haven't seen your dumb toy," I tell him.

You are sure you did not take it? His black eyes are large with accusation.

"I don't want anything that's been in your mouth. Who knows what diseases I could get."

But you did take my scratching post.

"Sure I took it. You've mutilated the accursed thing."

Onyx settles into a sulk. I shall scratch your furniture then.

"If you do, I'll teleport you right off the edge of this building."

Onyx sniggers. You teleporting me with you is certainly a scary thought. I do not want to end up with ice cream on my head.

Maybe I'll hide all his toys. That'll teach him to run his mouth. It's not like guilt is a problem for me. I gave that part of my heart away.