Just This Much

45: Last

This is the last chapter of JTM before the Epilogue. Thank you so much for patiently accompanying me in this long journey.

     

She pretended to be asleep the whole time Kio cleaned and clothed her, but she knew he might've known. Her sobs made her shoulders tremble as tears roll down her cheeks, soaking the pillow. Neither of them relented, she stayed 'asleep,' while he kept he uttered not even a single word.

The last thing she felt was his warm lips on her temple, before retreating footsteps followed. The door opened and shut close. Once the room quieted down, she finally opened her eyes and let her painful sobs out.

He's leaving. He's still leaving. What did she expect? He's not meant to be here in the first place. He needs to go back. But how can he be so cruel, making her fall for him when he knew all along he had to leave? How can he always tell her to take her time, when they are actually running out of it?

Who said she needs him, though? It seemed so easy for him to leave, then fuck him. Maybe she can turn all these emotions into anger, maybe that way she could easily get over him, too. Besides, she used to hate him and she can just go back on hating him. Easy.

With those thoughts in mind, she sat up and immediately felt the sting between her thighs. It was bearable enough—it's not like she hadn't felt worse pain than this—so she just directly stood up, ignoring the ache. 

Kio made her wear one of his hoodies and the pair of sweatpants she initially had on. She wore nothing inside so it was a bit uncomfortable, but she has no time to be bothered by it. She needs to get away from here ASAP.

She already found her shirt and bra inside a paper bag, and was about to pick it up when she stilled. Looking back at the messy bed, she breathed an impatient sigh and walked back towards it. She started pulling the sheets and the blanket off, as well as the pillowcases—one drenched with her tears. She then rolled them all together and dumped the bunch on one corner of the room, near the bathroom.

There, that son of a bitch better not say anything.

At last, she was able to step out of the room and wasted no time to go straight the main door. But it already was pushed open before she could even reach it.

"Looks like you had a great time, huh?," the bastard readily taunted, clearly directed at her. She knew how obvious her red-rimmed eyes are, it might even be swollen due to her excessive crying earlier.

Oh it would be easy hating him again for sure... especially with this original one who's already sick in the head.

She rolled her eyes, "I have no time for your bullshit."

"Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer for him to stay here too... so I could stay in the other side," he shrugged, though she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Then why did you let him go back? Why did are you here? You should've just stayed there." The urge to blame the guy is so strong, but she willed herself not to go there. Knowing what Ki-Ryeong—her Ki-Ryeong—experienced, and his reason for switching worlds, she can't judge this one... despite how much he infuriates her.

"It's between you and his parents. He didn't know my parents—our parents—are dead in this world."

Chills ran down her spine as it felt like a bucket of cold water was poured down her head. How can she forget about that? Everyone knew Ahn Ki-Ryeong only had a brother left in his family, his company never hid that fact from the media and the fans. It was an information that seemed so trivial in this world, but for him—someone from another—it's probably considered a big deal.

"Is that why you wanted to switch places with him?"

Kio didn't respond at first and just smirked, casually strolling inside his apartment and plopping down the couch. She followed his movements with her eyes, patiently waiting for him to say more.

"Both of us are suffering, Ayutthaya," he looked back. "We both lost someone, and have been broken ever since. We were both desperate for salvation that we forgot to look around and focus on who we have, instead of who we lost. Going back to where we're supposed to be and healing ourselves is what we really need."

"Is this your way of telling me that he won't be coming back?" She bit her lip, stopping herself from crying again. No more crying, no more please.

"This is my way of telling you... that this is not a sad ending. He could've stayed so you can be together, but he's not well—and he knows it too. How can you be sure that you two will last with all his emotional trauma and self-loathing?"

She can't deny that the guy is right, but of course she won't agree with him out loud. So she decided to change the topic instead; "what did he mean when he said that he's putting me in danger by staying here?"

"Stupid," the devil incarnate chuckled.

Calm down, Li. You need answers so you better summon every bit of patience in your system right now!

She momentarily closed her eyes and counted to three, before looking at the guy again. "Can you just answer my question... please?"

"Well you see, we're not meant to be together in this world—thank fuck 'cause I can't even fucking imagine being with you—"

"As if I'd want to be with you too, that's just... disgusting."

Kio raised his brow, "you sure about that? You just banged my—"

"You two are different, okay?! You are in no way alike so don't you ever use that against me!"

"Okay, okay! Chill, woman!" He then leaned against the couch and placed both his hands on the back of his head, acting all cocky. "As I was saying... you and fine-as-fuck Kio—aka me—are not supposed to be together in this world. But dumb-and-tasteless Kio—aka the one who just left—got together with you, and it ruined the balance and all that scientific shit. So here comes the hourglass to save the day. It slowly changed lanes and stirred this world to another direction, because someone clearly broke the rules."

And? What does that have to do with me being in danger? Wait a minute... is this what her Ki-Ryeong meant by fighting against the world? So when he said that, he literally meant it?

She didn't have to ask anymore because her companion already continued, giving her more answers. "Of course, what other direction should it choose but the one where dumb-and-tasteless Kio came from, right? Ever since you two went against fate and got together, this world started imitating the other world—in short, it adjusted for all your lovey dovey shit."

Lilac absentmindedly stepped back as she finally was able to put two and two together. She cant help but release an audible gasp when memories of her dreams flooded inside her mind.

"If this world started imitating the other... then is there a chance that it is also turning me into the other Lilac?"

Kio visibly stilled, a look of confusion masking his face. "I never heard of that possibility, don't tell me... that happened to you?"

"Ever since I started having feelings for Ki-Ryeong, I also began having these weird dreams... dreams that felt like memories. Not to mention, some hallucinations whenever I'm here. Like I'm already so familiar with this apartment when it was only the second time I've been here."

That's right. Wasn't it because of a dream too, that's why she decided to give Ki-Ryeong a chance? So all this time, fate has been guiding her towards him.

"It makes sense..." his brows furrowed. "Fate is turning you into the other world's Lilac so you could be with the other world's Kio. But we both know how they ended back there—your death."

"So that's what he meant by putting me in danger," she concluded.

Just like that, she was given yet another reason to let him go.