Dark Desire

CHAPTER 4. Not My Family

  "Raven, I know we don't get along most of the
time -"

"No need to make it sound pretty, we don't get along at all." I interrupted River, annoyed that I was forced to sit in his office and hear him tell me how to behave.

River sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. "Raven, if it weren't for your nasty comments, like the one you just made, things would be so much smoother around here."

I crossed my arms but didn't say anything to his words. River leaned on the back of his desk and looked at me.

"Raven, why are you angry with me?" I went stiff at his sudden question.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just sitting here," I told him sharply.

River looked at me, clearly seeing through my quick words. "Raven, why are you angry with me-" I stood and turned.

"I don't have to listen to this-" River grabbed my arm before I could even make it to the door. Stupid vampires abilities, I thought and grit my teeth.

"Actually, you do, have to listen, so sit your damn ass down, now." River told me coldly. I shrugged myself away from him and sat back down stiffly, crossing my arms.

"I'm not angry with you," I said, looking to the side, just wanting this to be over.

"Raven, what did I do wrong?" River asked, and I frowned, still looking at the wall.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Well I must have done something for you to always disrespect everything and everyone."

I grit my teeth. "If you're going to say you raised me wrong, I'm going to scream." I turned and glared at him. "Let's get this straight, River, I may live here, but neither you, nor anyone else, are family to me."

River clenched his jaw. "Raven," he growled my name when I stood and flipped him off.

"You're not my dad, my brother, hell, you're just some vampire who picked me off the street!" I snapped. "Don't act like you have some hold over how I act! I'm sick of you acting superior, you're not! And I don't know why Missy made me come here with you!" I was crying now, tears rolling down my face.

The door to the office opened and I turned, Cross stood there, arms crossed, dark eyes narrowed dangerously at me. "I didn't realize you felt that way princess," he said and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh shut up," I hissed and wiped my face. "You're such an ass, stop fucking mocking me!"

Cross sneered. "It's not like we asked some whiny little human girl to live with us,"

River stepped between us. "Now is not the time for one of your stupid arguments -"

"It's not stupid! There is nothing stupid about it!" My voice rose. "Stop treating me like trash because I'm not supernatural!" I glared up at Cross, who scoffed.

"Raven, if you acted more civil, maybe someone would have an ounce of respect for you." Cross drawled as I looked over at the door, Lion glancing at me.

"Maybe I'd be able to act civil if I weren't surrounded by assholes," my voice rose an octave, shaking from strong emotion.

"Yeah, well, you aren't exactly an angel either," Lion said joining in. I had no doubt everyone in the household was listening in, even if they weren't here.

"It's not like I have a lot of control over my emotions," I snapped, referring to how humans reacted to the supernatural.

"That sounds like a you problem," Lion said coldly as Cross rolled his eyes.

"Raven, you barely even show your face around here," his eyes darkened. "You're always in your fucking room, and when you do come out, you're a fucking bitch. Why the hell should we bend over and treat you special?" Cross demanded.

"Knock it off," River snapped and looked between us. "Raven, get a grip, Cross, Lion, now is not the time for this."

I glared at Cross and Lion, the room silent other than my sharp intakes of breath. I moved to shove past the two vampires, eager to go to my room. As I shoved past Lion, Cross's next words had me frozen.

"Good thing she died, so she doesn't have to fucking deal with you. I'm kind of jealous." I turned and looked at Cross with wide eyes.

"Fuck you!" I yelled and turned, running blindly to my room, tears clouding my eyes. I ran into my room and slammed the door behind me, fumbling with my lock.

I slid down the wall and covered my eyes. Why did you die? Missy... I miss you... I bit my fist. Why did you make me come here?

I sobbed and shook. I fucking hate them, why am I like this? I held my knees tightly, shaking so hard and finding it hard to breathe.

Oh god, I closed my eyes and smacked my head into the door harshly. I want to die, I gripped my hair and pulled it sharply. No, I fucking don't, I bit down on my lip, gasping sharply.

I want out, I want to go somewhere, anywhere. I licked my bloody lips and wiped my eyes. I used the doorknob, and pulled myself to my feet.

I stumbled into bed and laid there weakly, looking at the wall blankly. I knew I had issues, and I knew I should act differently. But... that knowledge did me nothing.

I sniffed and wiped my nose, eyes drifting closed before I forced them open. I didn't want to sleep, like it would somehow spite them.

I traced my finger on my blanket, feeling minutes tick by. After a while, I pulled out my phone, slowly calming down.

I scrolled mindlessly, a headache forming and making me frown. I put on a playlist and laid on my back, eyes closed, phone held loosely in one hand.

The sound of my door opening made me look over, too tired to even want to sit up. I wasn't even annoyed that he had gotten past the lock. I didn't even care as Cross stared at me, jaw ticking.

"Not going to tell me to leave?" He asked and leaned on the door frame.

I looked away and gazed at the wall, phone falling out of my hand, falling to the floor beside my bed.

"Raven," he called my name, and I closed my eyes, deciding I wanted to sleep after all. His footsteps were loud in my ears as he walked over to the side of the bed.

The bed creaked as he slowly sat beside where my head laid. "Are you really going to ignore me?"

I licked my still bleeding lip. "Leave me alone," my words were so soft, I was sure, if he weren't a vampire, my words would have been unheard.

  "Raven, what I said was fucked up," Cross said stiffly.

"Don't force yourself to apologize, not when you meant what you said. You're right, Missy wouldn't like what kind of person I am." My hands shook, tears streaming from my closed eyes.

Cross didn't say anything, and I curled in on myself. "Go, I don't want you here," I told him.

"Raven-"

"Leave me alone, Cross," I told him and rolled over so he couldn't see my face anymore.

"Fine," Cross spat and rose to his feet.

Good, leave, it's what everyone does anyway,