Protection

Chances

Angelina

"Are you gonna kill me" i ask shortened of breath.

So many emotions were going through my head with what i saw, i know i'm being dramatic but who has a secret book shelf that magically opens up and reveals a huge room filled with weapons and pictures of people, pictures of me.

I couldn't think straight, i felt high.

"No" he murmured after some time.

Why'd he gotta think on it hm?

I couldn't say i was scared, because i knew no matter how much i tried to convince myself, it would be a lie.

I try too hard, i try to be tough when i'm not, i try to be the friend that's carefree and has no worries, but i'm not.

I couldn't be.

Because i'm the most stressed out person there is.

I look up at him, my breathing slowly going down to a normal pace.

Yes, my heart still is beating incredibly fast, but i've managed to keep a ongoing breathing pattern.

My eyes swell up so i ask, "Why are there pictures of me" i say with a choked up sob.

Who knew love could hurt like this? I mean i wouldn't really call it love but what do i call it?

I have so many questions. So many fucking thoughts racing through my head.

At the moment i should be long gone out of this house, i should kick him in the balls and run.

But something is drawing me to stay and listen to him, even when he has lied to me multiple times on repeat.

All the jokes about him being apart of the mafia seem to be coming to life.

And even in the books it may sound romantic and a dream, but right now, in reality, i'm petrified.

He lets go of me backing away slowly, "I've watched you for years, since i've left i've kept a close eye on you, that sounds creepy but it's true, i couldn't leave something i love unsupervised." I stare him down, in such disbelief.

Yes, it is quite frankly creepy.

He's a stalker.

His voice followed, "If you love something-" I finish off for him, "You protect it" a small smile forms unto his perfect lips.

I couldn't bring myself to believe i've been stalked. It doesn't seem real. None of this does.

I need to run away, get out of here out of this madness and mess.

It's no good for me.

He isn't good for me.

"And you haven't been protecting, what we're you trying to do? A whole 'Her protection' thing? It didn't work, you scared me off in fact you lost me.. again."

But that's a lie, he hasn't lost me, in fact i think it drew me closer to him.

Weird huh?

I push back off the wall.

"How many times can i forgive you? Let you back into my life? You took everything from me, physically and mentally." I push his shoulders back anger coming through me. Where did this burst of confidence come from? I don't fucking know. But i know he won't hurt me;so i push him.

"How'd you think this would go? I'd be all heart eyes for you? Begging you on my knees to teach me your ways? Well i'm not. I'm clearly in pain and crying over the fact you've lied to me again, right after promising me you wouldn't hurt me again" a sob escapes my lips, i try to hold back but i can't, i let my hand swiftly glide over his face making a sharp pain numb my hand. It takes my whole soul to not cry from the stinging sensation.

He puts his hand on his cheek rubbing it, nodding at the fact i'm right and he deserved it.

I look into his eyes realizing he is also in pain, but why? His eyes have a glossy coat over them.

"You are no different" He finally speaks up staring at me in anger. He can't put me into this. What i did was no where near how fucked up he is.

"How am i not different? I'm not a stalk-" He interrupts clearly speaking what's on his mind, "You almost killed someone, if it weren't for me she'd be dead. I saved you from feeling the pain and agony with yourself after killing someone"

He steps closer, his shadow hovering over me.

"You can't take. it. back. Once it's done. It's. done. You only got three choices, beat 'em up and leave, walk away, or finish what you started. You need self control and you clearly let your emotions get over you, you can't have that happen or else, ha, everyone in my sight would be dead." i take a step back, his words were right, he did save me from the feeling. He did save me from being disgusted with myself, but i've always been.

I can't seem to move, it's like i'm frozen, i wanna leave, forget him, forget what i saw.

Forget it all.

But i don't, instead i catch myself leaning into him, wrapping my arms around his torso, giving him a tight hug.

I don't even know what's happening, a part of me wants him to knock me out, and another piece of me wants him to tell me everything.

Maybe that he loves me?

"You weren't made for me Mr. Lockwood, but somehow we changed that, and you're right, we really aren't far off from being different, no use going to the cops, when we're both guilty of murder and well for me attempted murder." I back away slowly wiping a stray tear from my right eye, i couldn't feel i felt no emotion, i didn't feel scared anymore. I almost felt safe, the need to protect him and be His protection.

I wanted to live a life with him and his daughter, i wanted to cherish them, but it's not good for me, and who knows, we may end up in different directions soon enough.

He sighed looking down then back up at me, "I feel like you should know it all, but i don't want to bring you into this mess, it's a matter of life and death, in trying to keep you alive, you don't want to risk apart of your life." He says.

"You're right" I see the color drain from his face, his heart just shattered probably, "But it's a risk i'm willing to take, but not now. When i'm ready." I place my hand on his cheek rubbing small circles with my thumb. I lean in and kiss his lips softly.

After i slowly backed away walking down to the restroom. I grab my clothes and leave.

It's the last thing i do before i step out the door and cry.
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I low key loved this chapter.

songs Let me- by Jade Lemac

Dandelions by Ruth B.

Not really my music taste but i'm in love with them rn 😩 make sure to comment vote and share to your friends<3