Rick And Morty X Reader

Rixty Minutes

The Smith Family and Rick are sitting in the living room watching TV. "Cynthia..." the Bachelor on the tv said. "Oh, my God! No, no..!" Jerry shouted. "I told you!" Summer said. "Hold on." Beth said. "Will you please... NOT marry me-- I choose Veronica." The Bachelor said. "What?" Summer asked. "Yes!" Jerry said. "Called it." Beth said. "Why would he choose Veronica?" Summer asked. "Because he loves her?" You asked. "Well if it's any consolation, Summer, none of it mattered, and the entire show is stupid." Rick said. "Okay, I've got an idea, Rick: you show us your concept of "good TV", and we'll crap all over that." Jerry said. You rolled your eyes. Rick stands, walking to the TV. "I thought you'd never ask." Rick said. He disconnects and drops cable box, which breaks upon impact to the floor. "Hey!" Jerry shouted. "Oh, cool! Is that crystallized Zanthonite? It conducts electrons across dimensions." Morty said. "20% accurate, as usual." Rick said, working on the cable box. Rick snatches the remote from Morty. "Hey, (Y/n), come give me a hand here." Rick said. You stand up and help reconnect the cable box as the TV buffers.

"The important thing being I just upgraded our cable package with programming from every conceivable reality." Rick said. "Wait, does that mean we get Showtime Extreme?" Jerry asked. "How about Showtime Extreme in a world where man evolved from corn?" Rick turns on the TV. "We're not so different. We're both corn of action." The first corn man said. "Yeah... But one of us is dead corn!" The second one shoots him. "Bor-ing." Summer said. "Summer, [belch] you just spent [belch] three months watching a man choose a fake wife." Rick said. "So, what, It'd be better if the people were corn?" Jerry asked. "Jerry, you don't get it. This is infinite TV, from infinite universes. Look." Rick changes the channel. "This shit is delicious." Glenn said. You cringed and tried not to gag. "A movie about a guy eating shit." Rick said. "Gross." You said. Rick changes then channel, various people are fighting on TV. "A violent Antiques Show..." he changes the channel again. "It's a pleasure to have you." The letter man said. "The pleasure's all mine." Jerry on the tv said. "Letterman from a time line where Jerry's famous." Rick changes channel to a stuffed teddy bear constructing a homemade spider web in an urban alley. "What?!" You asked. "Wait!" Jerry shouted. "What the hell?" Beth asked. "I agree. Where's this going?" Rick asked. "No, the other thing! Go back!" Jerry said. "Really? All right, fine." Rick backs up two channels. "Glenn, this is a court order. It says you can't eat shit anymore." A judge said. You gag again. "All right, Jerry, when you're right, you're right. Now I'm hooked." Rick said. "I'd rather not watch this one." You said.

Time Skip

"Coming up next on "Shmloo's the Shmloss", Shmlony has a nightmare." The announcer on the tv said. "Shmlantha, Schmlona!" Shmlony said. "Amazing. A dimension where all proper nouns begin with "Schmla". You said. "I know, right?" Rick asked. Schmlove, Schmlandula, Schmlonathan." Shmlony said. "All right, that got, that actually got old pretty quick." Rick said. "Agreed." You said. Jerry groans. "Rick, would you please go back to me on David Letterman?" Jerry asked. Rick is flipping quickly through multiple channels, including another Jerry channel. "Infinity's a big number, Jerry. I don't remember the channel." Rick said. "Go back, go back!" Beth said. "Jeez." Rick changes channel back to Cloud Atlas riff. "You speak da tru-tru." Jerry on screen said. "Oh my God! Dad's in "Cloud Atlas"!" Summer said. "I'm in "Cloud Atlas"! What's "Cloud Atlas"?" Jerry asked. You face palmed. "Sometimes small tru-tru different than da big tru-tru." The Jerry on tv said. "How is this possible?" You asked. "Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities - including a time line where Jerry's a movie star. Look, you guys are getting excited about the wrong aspect of this device. Ju-- Wa-- Look at this." Rick changes the channel.

"And now, another Quick Mystery." A host said. "I just want to know who could've done something like this. It's a travesty!" A cop said. "I did. See this knife and all the blood on it? Here's my fingerprints." A killer said. "Guilty! I sentence you to life in prison." The judge said. The killer is thrown in jail. "Here's another Quick Mystery." The host said. "My mother's dead!" A man said. "And I killed her. Here's the weapon. And cuff me, thank you very much." The second killed said. You raised an eyebrow. "Okay, this is just stupid." You said. "How so?" Rick turned to look at you. "Why would these killers immediately admit to their crimes? Do they want to be sent to jail or something?" You asked, and Rick only shrugs. "I dunno." He said. "Guilty! Sentenced to murder." The judge said. Killer 2 is killed via electric chair. "Here's anothe--" the host was interrupted. "I'm the killer!" He puts gun in mouth, firing it once offscreen. "Wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it?" The host asked. "No shit." You said sarcastically.