Pop Star || Yoongi x Reader

33. It's Not a Health Crisis

The recording session proceeds rather smoothly between the two of you. He's funny in the recording booth, yelling off scale to clear his throat and warming up as if he's getting ready to play basketball, not rap. But once he gets down to rapping, his voice is mesmerizing. It's the most satisfying recording session you've had in a long time. You're recording your own last line when RM joins Suga on the other side of the glass. Suga nods after you finish your take. Sounds good, he mouths.

"Wow, this is going to be a big one," RM says to Suga in Korean. You're still singing in the recording booth, out of earshot.

"You think?"
"I like her verse," he sings a little, "-she's really bringing in the feeling."
"Hm. It's good."
"So Hyeong, did you do it -?" RM stops talking when you enter the producer's side of the room.

"Did he do what?" you ask.

"Um - shower - he was supposed to shower..." RM fibs. He becomes quiet while Suga covers his eyes with a hand, partly embarrassed, partly irritated. What he'd originally meant was to ask Yoongi Hyeong if he had asked you out. Considering his reaction, he figured out that he hadn't.

"Right," you nod but you don't believe him, "so Namjoon," you use his first name without thinking.
"- yeah?" He's visibly glad that you're changing the topic.
" - sorry, can I call you that?" you give an awkward chuckle.
"Yeah of course," he nods. Noticing that you still look awkward, he adds, "seriously, it's cool."

"What do you think of the song?" you add quickly.
"Ah, I was just telling hyeong that it sounds dope! By the way, where's Taehyung?" he asks.
"His leg's not good," Suga says without looking up from the computer screen.

They exchange a few words about Taehyung's health. Is it your imagination or does Suga - no - Yoongi - sound stiffer than usual?

RM turns the conversation back to you, "...so are you over the writer's block, Y/N?"
"Thank goodness, yes!" you answer.
"Congratulations," he nods while you laugh. "Can I ask how?"

"Hmm. I'm not so sure myself. I was at this party - a party I wanted to go to for a long time actually - but when I was finally there it just felt - so ordinary and frankly too fake," you give a nervous chuckle, "like I'm not accusing anybody of anything. Just pointing out an internal disconnect of sorts. And it was frustrating. I think that was it. That rebellious sort of feeling, you know. I suddenly had a lot to say about everything then the songs began to tumble out again..." you glance up at RM, unsure if what you were saying made sense to him.

"I get it - I get that totally. After a while, you don't feel the same way about certain things anymore."

"Exactly - I don't think I'm the same person anymore! Which is normal. But I guess I was resisting that. I didn't want to accept that maybe I'm not too fond of - say - huge gatherings - and it's embarrassing, and guilty, that I wasn't happy being someplace I and so many others worked so hard to ensure I reached..."

"You're not obligated to your past self, Y/N," Yoongi adds. You're surprised that he was paying attention.

"I guess so - when you put it like that - yeah..." you respond, nodding. "By the way, that listening to old songs advice was a pretty good one, Namjoon," you chuckle.

"Really?" he asks, laughing with you.

"Oh yeah. They're terrible, but I ended up reworking a few," I wish I had rights to them, you think, mentally punching DK. While you and RM continue to converse, Yoongi continues to mix the track quietly. Almost too quietly, you feel. And RM goes on an interview track - your inspiration, thoughts, views, journey, likes, dislikes. Not obviously, but tangentially.

"...reading is good, books helped me get through impossible situations a lot," he says.

"Sometimes books can explain things to you in a way people can't," you nod, "personally, I'm a little deaf to orally given advice, so books have helped me plenty." Well - there you have it, Namjoon, I'm a little smart too. You have an intuition as to why he's acting this way, but you're not sure - and a glance at Yoongi shows him fully engrossed on the DAW - well, whatever.

Thankfully, Namjoon doesn't stay long, citing some lunch plans.

You stretch out on the sofa. You'd taken out a good chunk of the day for this recording session, but due to V's absence, you're free much earlier. Ah, but there's nothing else to do, and the recording room is so warm and cozy, and the sofa is really comfortable...

You wake up with a start. Your neck's a little stiff from resting backwards. How long were you asleep for - you wonder - 30 minutes? There's a thin blanket over you, but you definitely didn't put it there. And lastly, you're alone in the room. Where did Yoongi go? You rub your eyes. There's no water here either.

Where are you?

You text him after he doesn't answer your call.

You're really thirsty so you decide to take a trip to the vending machine down the hallway. There is a sense of discomfort in your heart, though you can't quite pin it down to a cause. You check your wallet for change - yep, it's there. You put it in the vending machine, whistling. Well, at least the recording went well, didn't it? Speaking of, there's another song of yours that you need to check with Monica. As you think of your to-dos and obligations, you notice that someone's crouching next to the vending machine. How strange - wait.

You drop down to your knees.

"Yoongi? What are you doing?"

His head is resting on his knees making him look rather small - which is perhaps why you didn't notice that it was him at first. He looks up for a fraction of a second before putting his head back down again. You're shocked to see that his face looks extremely pale.

"Are you alright?" you whisper.