Lost

dreams

       My foster parents went on a trip, leaving me and Aaliyah in this big ass house. Which they did often.

"My boyfriend and a few of his friends are over here" Aaliyah said coming inside of my room. "Alright thanks for letting me know." I said before she walked out of my room.

I changed my fit knowing i wasn't gonna be staying in my room the whole time.

I started feeling hungry knowing we didn't have shit to eat here.

Khalil🤢

Doordash me some food
Alr, ill bring it instead.
fine just be quick
Wrd. What you want?
Chicken nuggets and fries
Alr.

After texting Khalil i went to the bathroom to brush my teeth because there's no way he coming around me while i have mediocre breath.

30 minutes later

I heard a knock on my door, already knowing it was Khalil I yelled "Its open." and he walked in. "whos that milkshake for?" I asked him seeing he was holding a vanilla milkshake.

"You obviously, i cant eat like this." He said handing me the bag. "I don't even eat that bad." I laughed as he took one of my chicken nuggets. "Girl stop looking at me like that." He said finishing the chicken nugget he had.

"Stop eating my stuff, you should've got you some." I said hitting his arm making him tackle me. "I can't breathe, get off of me." I whined under him.

"Give me a kiss then ill get off." he said making me laugh. "Ill do it for real, get off me while your lips are still free." I joked. "now im definitely staying until you do it."

I tried giving him one little peck on the lips but he held my neck and kept kissing me, squeezing it tighter so that i would open it for him.

     "My food, Khalil." I mumbled under him, making him let me go.

Flashback over

"And what do you think this dream meant?" My therapist asked me writing in her notepad. "I don't know." I sighed.

     "well we can get back to that later, how have you been feeling recently?" She asked me and i gave her a slight smile before answering.

      "I've been alright, trying to forgive my parents cause its no need to hold onto that." I said and she smiled before writing a little.

     "Thats the spirit, don't force it though those emotions will hit you hard if you do." She said and i nodded. " We can try to take you off those meds and see how things go." She said exciting me.

My therapist and doctor both thought that it would be best to put me on some medicine that try's to stop flashbacks, which resulted in them showing up in my dreams.

      "Well thats all the time we have for now, try to have a good day for me." She said as her alarm went off and she stood up to shake my hand.

     Walking out of the building was always a big deal for me, I felt as if people were judging me. Taking care of mental health always seem shunned in this community.

      Since i decided to have a very early session I had school right after.

       I got in the car that my foster dad often let me borrow when i had my own things to do, he wasn't as affectionate as everyone else, but he showed it in his own way.

       As i pulled up to the school i felt this sinking feeling in my stomach and decided to ignore it, I fixed my lipgloss and pulled down my skirt before closing and locking the door behind me.

     I would honestly be lying if i said i didn't notice the attention i was getting from boys, It would also be a lie if i said i didn't like it.

     I walked in to my first period class seeing Aaliyah mugging somebody looking over to that direction i saw her looking at Khalil who had some random ass cheerleader sitting on his lap.

     He looked over at me and i shrugged before going to sit down next to Aaliyah. "Don't worry about that, how was your morning?" Aaliyah asked me closing her phone.

      "Fine, how was yours." I asked her and she laughed. "Horrible your mom bugging." She said and i laughed. "Thats your mom too." i said and she shook her head.

      "Last night she caught me sneaking out." She said shocking me. "You wasn't in my room all night?" I asked her and she shook her head no.

     "wassup." Khalil said walking over me causing me and Aaliyah to look in between us. I gave him a slight wave not saying anything.

     I don't like Khalil but don't apply pressure if you want somebody else, thats weird.

      our chemistry teacher came in the room resulting in everyone going back to their assigned seat.

Later that day

     "Come chill with me and some friends." Aaliyah said coming into my room. "pay me." I sighed as she got out the wallet putting $40 in my hand. "Get out so i can get ready.

      I touched up my makeup from earlier and put on some slides and grabbed my purse, charger, and phone.

  At the chilling spot

      Walking into the house there was hella people both girls and boys but for the most part most of these folks went to our school.

      Sitting down on a couch that wasn't being used this guy came and sat down on the other side. It was obvious he was a little intoxicated so i scooted away a little.

     "Nobody preying on you so you could chill out on all that moving." He said looking over to me. "I never said you were, you smell like straight alcohol, so duhh ima scoot away from your alcoholic ass." I said and he rolled his eyes.

     "You got a mouth on you." He laughed. "Folks stay judging shit they know nothing about." He said and i shook my head. "My fault for not giving a fuck." I laughed getting up off of the couch.