Ch. 18 - A Danger To Yourself

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Trigger Warning: Small suggestion of self-harm.

Monet

I was pacing.

For the past twenty minutes, I've been sitting down, lying down, standing up, walking around. Overthinking. What am I going to do? The same question kept repeating over and over. What am I going to do? Aw shit, what am I gonna do?

I heard a knock on my door: finally stopping my painfully racing mind.

"Whoever it is, now's not the time please. I just need to think right now," I whispered loudly in a heavy voice but, oh, was that the truly last thing I needed right now.

"In my opinion, that is the last thing you need right now," you hear the low, deep voice outside of your room.

"Loki, please." It was quiet for a while and I had assumed he walked off. But no, he just ended up inviting himself in.

I let out a sigh, "What don't you understand about needing to think, Loki? It means to leave me alone."

"I think we can both agree that now isn't a time to be alone in your thoughts right now," he said as he took a seat on your bed. He patted his side, which I quickly invited myself over to. "What are you going to do?"

"Trust me, I've asked myself that." I took a pause. "A lot." I turned to him to ask what he was doing here to see him already looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I-" he fidgeted. Turned away not to look me in my eye. "I'm sorry. Really"

I was taken aback, I'm gonna be honest here. Loki? The God of Mischief, Loki? Apologising for something he didn't even do? Damn, what happened to him?

"Now what could you be sorry for?" I said while putting my hand on his knee, to attract his attention back to me.

He started explaining how he was really did feel bad for the messed up shit I got myself stuck in and didn't deserve one bit of it. Didn't know what had gotten into him for being so kind, but I sure wasn't gonna complain about it. I just didn't need his pity.

"This isn't pity, Monet."

"No? Because it sure does feel like it." I took a deep breath. I didn't want to overthink. I hated the feeling of overthinking. I mean, why would anyone in the right mind enjoy it? "Look, Loki. I think I'm gonna go to be-"

"The sun is still up."

"A nap! Just a nap buddy." I patted his back and almost got him out. Almost.

I opened my door for him only to take a step outside, before turning around to speak once more more. "Monet, please."

"Please what, Loki?"

"Go downstairs. Spend time with your companions. It can be dangerous to be alone at times like this."

"Times like th- what on Earth are you talking about?"

"You're not in a good state-of-mind. Who knows what you can do?"

Gonna be honest, I felt bad for the fact that all I could do was laugh. "I'm not gonna kill anyone," I said, speaking between each breath and laugh.

He took a step closer, took my hand into his, and let out in a small whisper, "I mean you, Monet. A danger to yourself." He could barely make eye-contact with me.

I put my hand on his cheek, "Loki, look at me." He didn't. "I said look at me." He closed his eyes, breathed in quietly, and looked up. "I won't do anything to myself. I promise."

"Monet."

"Loki..."

"You're acting stupid. And immature. I can't believe your words right now."

I knew he regretted his phrasing the second that came out of his mouth. "Excuse me?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way!"

"Wow, okay. You know what? Just leave."

"Wait, let me rephrase-"

"Loki! My boss just told me she wanted to see my dead sister because I'm not enough for her right now. I do not need you to tell me I'm stupid and immature." I lowered my voice and told him nothing was going to happen. And he left.

I laid on my back with my head resting on my hands and my ankles crossed.

This is uncomfortable...

I shifted onto my side with one arm underneath my head and the other between my thighs. My eyes slowly blinked closed, I took in a long breath and let the sleep take me.

Take me...

Take me...

"Oh, please take me, Loki!" I moaned, as his tongue and lips moved back and forth on my neck with my legs wrapped around his waist and my back up against the wall.

"Whatever you wish my love... Now," he raised his end up to look my in the eye and put his index finger against my lips, "Stay quiet for me Monet, and I'll give you all that you desire."

Loki turned around and softly placed me on his bed with his lips now on my own. Fuck, he was talented as hell with those lips, but I wanted more. He shifted me further onto the bed while he slowly began to unbutton my pants. "Ready?" He whispered in my ear.

I gasped as I opened my eyes and shot up into a sitting position.

Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. I just had a sex dream about Loki. 

~~

A/N: Another short chapter, sorry. 

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