Love me, London

fifty-three

All I heard was a strange sound. An odd static noise followed by tiny beeps as myself was slowly coming back. My eyes felt abnormally heavy, but not too heavy that it would be impossible to lift them open. My body jolted like it was awakened from death, raising from out of the tomb in which it had been buried. I groaned in pain, feeling my stiff muscles and tendons stretched underneath the thin covers. My chest rose on heavy, rasping breaths and I opened my eyes to an unnervingly white, clean ceiling above me.

So calm. So peaceful. Airy and neat. It was then when I was vaguely aware that I was lying on a hospital bed and likewise, the tears started to fall again.

"Thank God." I heard a strong, steady voice mumbling from beside me then a comforting pair of arms wrapped themselves around my trembling body.

I didn't flinch. I knew it was him.

"Luke..." I squeezed my eyes shut, caused fresh tears to slide down my cheeks.

"Shh...you're safe now." He cooed softly, reaching for my back and rubbed his hand in a small circle. With my face buried deep into his chest, my tears stained his white shirt, creating translucent dots here and there. He didn't seem to mind it though. He just let me stay in his arms for a while.

Minutes past and I had had a good cry. I became weary of crying and got very thirsty. Luke told me to lay back while he went and fetched me a glass of water. I was slowly settling down, accepting the condition that I was in. Until a wave of realization slowly hit me.

A sudden throwback into reality and a cry ripped up my throat, filled with panic.

"X-xavier." I knew I wasn't making any sense. My voice was cracking bad as I was crying, sobbing and hiccuping all in one time.

"London-"

"Luke, where's Xavier?"

He didn't reply. Or maybe, he did but his words, they were barely audible to me and I couldn't read his mouth through my foggy vision and streaming tears.

I remembered repeating the same questions over and over again. Where's Xavier? How's he? Can you take me to him?

But there was no answer.

Luke was trying to calm me down and I guessed that wasn't enough. Answer was what I wanted. Explanation was what I was hoping for, but he was giving me none of that.

"Luke, please..." I begged him one last time. I was running out of breath. My head was spinning like crazy as I patiently waited for his answer.

I thought I was prepared. I thought I was ready for whatever he was about to say. But when all is said and done, I realized I was so damn wrong.

"I am sorry."

Simple as that and it was enough.

His words clicked inside my head like two pieces of puzzle coming together and then the last scene I remembered of Xavier flashed before my eyes. The flame. The broken glass. The piece of metal one could barely recognized as a car. It haunted me. The image of him struggling for his life I had pictured. It ruined me. Wrecked me apart, even worst than the memory of Liam and that innocent girl he killed. I remembered vividly how she cried out at the top of her lungs for help.

Xavier did't even get a chance to cry.

He probably didn't even know, nor was prepared for the impact. Who would have guessed that the last word he said was to me. Even I wouldn't have thought so. Not in a million years. Never had. Never will. He was way too young to die. And if any of the thing he told me during our last ride together was a truth, he still had a lot to look forward to.