Always You

Chapter 26: Good Riddance

"Daisy is gone," Nat said as the pair walked through the door. "and if I have my way, she won't be back."

That would be nice, they thought, if only Yelena would relax now.

But she wouldn't. The news didn't even seem to phase her as she strolled through the room and to her bed. The sleeping arrangement would stay the same, sadly. Both sisters would continue sharing a bed while Y/N either got the couch or other bed if they were lucky enough.

Safe in the hotel, they all decided to try and get some sleep. It was late now and the day had been hectic. Emotions ran high and Yelena ran far.

She had passed out in her bed while Y/N and Nat stood in the bathroom getting ready to sleep as well. Y/N gazed out into space while they brushed their teeth. Nat rested a soft hand on their back, trying to get their attention without startling them.

A faint smile appeared, "Night, Nat."

She looked at Y/N with eyes that burned with a million questions. The talk she'd had with her sister opened up so many floodgates for Yelena. Truly, she was surprised Y/N was able to get her back to the hotel at all, let alone as calm as she was, as she seemed.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, unable to go to bed seeing her best friend so out of it.

Their head hung, "I don't know."

She rubbed their back and tried giving them space to think in the silence. Their friendship was comfortable enough to know what they needed and when.

"Well, you know I'm here if you ever need to talk about it. Just try to stay positive. I think she'll come around."

It had been a day riddled with emotions. Yelena was back and forth constantly. I want them, but I can't have them. I CAN have them, but I don't want to hurt them. I don't know how to do this. I don't understand these emotions.

She was unable to let herself breathe and truly think. Maybe she wasn't ready, but maybe they didn't need everything from her all at once. It was so new to her, but Nat was right.

"I know. I think she just needs time to figure out how to even have emotions like this. Was it like this for you?"

It was then that the friends realized they'd never talked about her transition back in that sense. Though, her time in the Red Room was a bit different. Yelena's brain was chemically altered while Nat went through psychological conditioning.

It wouldn't be the exact same, but it was still a lot to handle for her too. Her relationship with Bucky was anything but stable. The last they heard of her relationship was his move to Wakanda, but she rarely spoke of it otherwise. They assumed it was over.

"I don't think it was this volatile. I was conditioned, so I still had feelings, my own feelings. I broke free from it myself in my own mind. Yelena didn't even have thoughts of her own. It's really... I don't think I could say I truly understand."

They'd hoped she could've even a little, but it was getting clearer now. Yelena was basically growing up all over again. She'd never had her own feelings or learned to process them. At least, not since she was given the chemicals at a young age.

Y/N stared at the sink after rinsing the toothpaste from their mouth. "Maybe I should leave, Nat."

Her eyes shot open, "What? What're you talking about?"

"I think I'm going to go home."

Nat's face was stuck in pure shock, "You- you can't go home? That's not an option, Y/N. We need you."

They shook their head and laughed lightly. The two didn't need them. Y/N knew they'd been kept around because Yelena enjoyed their presence and maybe because they were smart. But maybe the best thing now was distance.

"You know it's what's right. You don't need me anymore. You're in a groove and know what you're doing. Me being here is just going to make it harder on Lena." They choked on her nickname and Nat smiled softly through the tears brimming in her eyelids. Contrary to most, she loved the idea of her best friend dating her sister. "I have to go, Nat."

She didn't want to agree. Nat placed her hands down on either side of the sink now, trying to think through any possible reason she could use to get them to stay. But maybe they were right.

Yelena and Nat had gotten into a groove and knew what they were doing. Y/N was a nice addition, but they weren't needed. It was a convenience to have them around.

"We'll take you to the airport in the morning." She finally replied.

But they'd already made up their mind, "I'm leaving tonight, Nat."

"You can't. You can't leave now. It's too late. You're tired and making a rash decision!"

Y/N pulled her into a hug, cutting her off. They wrapped their arms tightly around her shoulders and buried their face in her neck. "I love you, Nat. You're my best friend and you know that, but I have to go." Pulling back, they looked in her eyes, "I'll be okay."

She felt the need to fight for her sister. Maybe if she stepped in and fought for Y/N the way she knew Yelena wanted to, then maybe this would all work out. Maybe they wouldn't have to leave.

But she was smarter than that. These weren't her battles to fight and if Yelena was going to learn, she'd have to experience that for herself.

"Take care of Lena for me, alright?" The tears they'd both held back were streaming down their faces now. It was hard to hold back.

"You know I will. We'll come and find you when we're done, okay? She hasn't been to the US since we left when we were kids. I know she'll want to go."

Y/N smiled at the idea of seeing her at home. Maybe they'd get that second chance. Who knows? They weren't even sure when they'd see her again. All they knew was that they had to do this. Not only for her, but themselves too.

With that, they hugged her one last time before heading out to pack their things. Yelena slept like a rock after a long day and Y/N was thankful for that. It was hard contemplating if they should wake her or not.

But they decided not to. They'd leave a note for her instead and give her one last kiss on her cheek as she slept.

"I'll see you at home, Agent Romanoff." They laughed as they gave her one last hug.

"See you at home, Agent Y/L/N."