Aeipathy

Chapter 38

Eris

It's so easy to find Tris. Kailangan ko lang sundan kung nasaan yung distinctive nitong amoy.

And for a lot of people, it might be hard to distinguish a certain person from a crowd, but not for me.

Malapit ko na ngang isipin na yung nostrils ko ay masyado na din inlove sa babaeng Negra na yon kaya kahit nasaan man ito, mabilis ko lang iyong nahahanap. Siguro ganoon talaga pag gusto mo yung tao. Lahat ng bagay na magpapaalala sa taong iyon sayo ay natatandaan mo agad.

But maybe that ability is a curse. Lalo na kung may mga eksenang nirerequire ka na magpa-late ng dating para di ka masaktan sa kung anuman ang eksenang dadatnan mo.

Gaya ngayon. How I wish I was late.

There's Tris, being extremely close to her bestfriend. Too close na kahit sinong makakita ay iisipin na may ginagawa ang mga ito lalo pa at nandito sa lugar na hindi puntahan ng tao. Sa mismong bukana pa ng forest sa loob ng bakuran ng mga Montello.

Nanghihinang napasandal na lang ako sa punong malapit sakin habang nakatanaw sa eksenang iyon, ilang metro ang layo sa kinatatayuan ko.

Tris is obviously enjoying Lee's hands wrapped on her waist as the latter is kissing her neck.

I closed my eyes.

This scene is not new. Ilang babae na ba ang nahuli kong humahalik at lumalandi kay Tris? Hindi naman ito yung una. Mas malala pa nga yung iba.

It's okay, Eris. Perfectly okay. Just close your eyes if that hurts that much. Pagkatapos, laban lang ulit. Ginusto mo yan. Don't complain.

Mula sa pagkakasandal sa puno ay sunod-sunod yung malalim na paghinga na ginawa ko. This is what I've learnt from Mommy. Kapag kasi naiinis na ito sa mga babaeng lantaran na lumalandi kay Mom ay tahimik na kinakalma lang nito yung sarili nito.

Trust.

Mommy trusts Mom that she won't do anything that could possibly hurt her. Oo, alam ko na hindi perpekto si Mom. Posible din na at some point ay natritrigger yung ego nito at may nagagawa itong hindi dapat. But I know that she knows when to stop. Lalo pa at natatakot ito na sa amin ni Ate Ember bumalik yung karma nito.

When we're mad, it's normal that we do some drastic actions. Lalo pa at normal na yata sa lahi namin yung maiinitin yung ulo at ayaw magpatalo. That's why Mommy taught us to stop for a while and take a deep breath to clear our cloudy mind.

Silvas are not born barbarians. Natritrigger lang kami kapag pakiramdam namin naaapi na kami at nadedehado.

It's okay, Eris. You know from the start na habulin talaga si Tris. Wala kang magagawa sa bagay na yon. Just wait for your turn. At kung sakali man na hindi dumating yung panahon na yon, at least you already had your chance to be that close to her. That's more than enough.

It took me some time to calm myself down. Gusto kong maawa sa sarili ko pero hindi kasi kami pinalaki ni Mom na balat-sibuyas.

We were raised like a fighter. Lalo pa at tangay tangay namin yung sinumpang apelyido nya. Our last name is a crown of wealth and power, camouflaging as a curse. Still, a gift.

Sabi nila, what a Silva wants, a Silva gets. But the hidden truth is, we are just a masochist. Kahit masakit na, lalaban pa din. Kahit inaayawan na, nagpupumilit pa. And yes, maybe at some point nagiging makasarili kami, but at the end of the day, we're always choosing what's best for the people we love. We have no problems sacrificing ourselves in the end if that will make our loved ones happy.