After asking him that, I immediately wanted to take it back when I saw the extremely hurt expression on his face as he was taking in my words and after waiting for what felt like an eternity, Taehyung looks at me and reassuringly says;
"Okay Love.. I'm going to be honest with you, okay? Now... I've always wanted to have a big family with atleast 5 or even 3 kids.. but if your body is not capable and most importantly if you yourself feel as thought your not capable then.. I'm not going to force you down the path of having to make a decision like that.. just to please me. I want you in my life with Taeyung and I want us to be a family but.. I don't want to lose you in the mist of everything coming down to you having my child or not. Although I would love to have a family with you... I don't want you to wait the 9 long months and force yourself to have a child when you're body cannot handle it. Either way.. I-I really don't want to lose you.. I just don't know if I bear it.."
I nodded and after I gently placed my hand on cheek, I quietly said;
"A-And I can't bear the thought of me getting pregnant and you and Taeyung getting really excited... only to have to lose the baby in a m-miscarriage.. or worse."
At my words, Taehyung immediately brings me into another tight hug and as I wrapped my arms around his neck, he nods and quietly says;
"I can't imagine the pain you went through all those years ago."
I just sobbed in his arms as I got sudden flashbacks of the abuse and heartbeat I endured alone.. but after I had calmed down enough, I pulled back from our hug and cleared my throat as I awkwardly said;
"S-Sorry.. I told you that I would share my past with you but I haven't even started and I'm already crying."
Although I tried to joke about it, it hurt when I thought about everything's that's happened to me and Taehyung nodded as he held me in his arms and said;
"You're right Love, we did get a bit off track."
I nodded as I wiped my face with my long sleeve and Taehyung asked;
"Are you ready to talk about everything now or do you need more time?"
"I'm ready now."
I softly say and Taehyung nods as I begin to explain my whole past to him from the beginning.. starting with my Mother and Father.
"When I was younger.. I witnessed my Mother being physically abused by my Father.. he would beat her so hard that she would pass out cold and he would just leave the house while me and my sisters took care of her.. only for it to happen over and over and over again. And because I witnessed all of that.. I started to get this twisted idea that THAT was what TRUE LOVE between two people was like, and it only got worse when the cops would be called my neighbors and my Mother would deny everything and defend my Father.. and I thought it was sweet how she would protect him and he would give her gifts and promise that he would never hurt her.. only for him to come home drunk and hurt her again. It wasn't until I was 17 years old that he finally got arrested.. and when my mom kicked me out at 18 years old.. I was alone at the time because my sister Jang-mi had moved out 5 years ago so I just... lived with my first boyfriend and that's when I started to get hurt.. and what's worse is that I thought everything my Exs were doing was normal since I had seen that abuse growing up and has somehow twisted that into being what love truly felt like."
After telling him that, I could tell that he was thinking hard about what to say next then he looks at me and hesitantly asks;
"You had more than 1 sister?"
"Yeah.. it's Jang-mi, Me, then Mi-so and then it's Daniel but thankfully he was never able to witness what we saw.."
I say trying to avoid talking about my siblings but Taehyung kept asking, which didn't bother me but it did hurt to talk about about them but I don't think Taehyung noticed as he quietly asked;
"So.. when can I meet the family?"
I knew he meant it as a joke to maybe lighten the mood but now was really not a good time for me and I let him now that merely by the look on my face as I reluctantly answered his questioning by nonchalantly saying;
"Not now Honey.. my mother literally has a restraining order against me so I can't see her or Daniel, Jang-mi will mostly likely hate you in the beginning and would probably want to kill you, and Mi-so... she passed away 2 weeks before my mother kicked me out of the house. It was a car accident."
He nodded and I gave him a peck on the cheek while I held his hand in the hope that my actions will make him feel better and luckily they did and I smiled as he held me but then he asked me the one question I just couldn't answer;
"Yn... if you suffered abuse at the hands of those monsters.. why didn't you tell someone or take them to court?"
"I tried too when I was 25.. but by that time.. it was already too late. They had all... changed, they straightened up and quit drinking, gotten married.. had their own families.. and I didn't have any proof of the abuse except my words and that just.. wasn't good enough."
I said coldly not wanting to talk about the topic much further and Taehyung hummed in response and before either of us could say another word... my phone began to ring.
I thought as I quickly got up and checked to see who was calling as I had let my phone on the kitchen counter and when I looked at the caller ID, I smiled as it was Jennie calling and as I walked up and say down next to Taehyung I whispered;
"It's Jennie. She probably wants to talk about tomorrow."
Taehyung nodded, signaling for me to answer, and I smiled as I happily answered while Taehyung put his arm around my shoulder again;
"Yn! Hey, sorry to call you this late. I know you said that you'd be busy."
"Oh no, that's fine. So what's up?"
"Well.. it's about our outing tomorrow..."
Her voice sounded hesitantly while saying this and I worriedly asked;
"Do you girls not want to go anymore?"
"No.. no it's not that. It's just.. Lisa.. she secretly planned something and I just knew I had to tell you about it so that you don't freak out."
She admitted and I immediately felt Taehyung sit upright and stay attentive to the call now more than ever, which made me nervous as I asked;
"Oh, what's the surprise?"
After a moment, I heard Jennie let out a sigh on the other line before calmly saying;
"Well.. Lisa had told Jackson that you liked him and... she set you two up on a date tomorrow."
YOU ARE READING
My Winter Bear || KTHFanfiction
Kim Taehyung is a CEO of one of the biggest companies in South Korea who looks for a new Secretary when his previous one mistreats his son, Kim Taeyung. Soon he finds one and at first everything seems like a normal working relationship... but what h...