"Till the end of time"-malec x oc

chapter 24

my moms funeral.

wearing a white short lacey dress that izzy had chosen.wearing near to no makeup. knowing i would only cry it off in the first place.

she had done my hair, bradied the top parts and then curlsed the ends, i look beautiful.

for such a sad day.

since the moment we returned from that horrible warlock ladies house i did nothing but cry in alecs arsm.

untik i had to be pulled from his nice warm grasp and into izzys room to get ready for my mothers funeral.

everyone was already there, i was the last to appear,.

walking in threw the door i notice everyone already stod around, some in converstaion others just looking around.

i sigh playing with my fingers infront of me as i look at jace and alec having a converstaion towards the front of the room, where my mother is laying.

everyone is wearing white.

aparently its the colour that you wear at a shadowhunters funeral, instead of black.

i sigh and walk over to the boys instantly making them both look at me.

"you alright?" alec questions putting a hand on my waist making me shake my head in tears slightly" i know , i know." he says pulling me against him as a small sob leaves my throat.

"excuse me" jace says patting alecs shoulderslightly making me look up from alec chest and notice my sister who has just walked in.

" i dont know if i can do this alec." i mutter looking away from my sister as her and jace begin to talk.

 looking up at alec with teary eyes he smiles looking down at me.

"Yes, you can.im not going anywhere, im here every step of the way."alec says smiling at me amking me whimper and hug him tightly as he wraps his arms around me.

"Those remaining will take their place with the fallen." aldertree speaks stood between the two body.

my mom.

and the other shadowhunter.

i look as clary walks forwards, her hand linked with jace as they go and walk to stand next to my moms body.

she looks towards me and i shake my head unable to move from alecs side.

she smiles sadly, understanding.

"Those remaining will say the names of the fallen." aldertree speaks looking out at everyone.

"Brother Micah." one of the brothers speaks making me glance at them before everyone beins to mutter.

"Pulvis et umbra sumus."the crowd of shaodwhunters speak

"Brother Jeremiah." he speaks again.

"For we are dust and shadows."everyone speaks at the same time.

 i look towards clary and my heart breaks. she stands there in tears looking down at our mom.

"Jocelyn...Mom..." she tries to say but she cant, she breaks down and turns to jace hugging him in the chest.

 i go the same to alec letting everything out as i cry into his chest.

"Jocelyn Fairchild. "jace speaks looking out at all the shadowhunters with tears in his eyes too,

i feel a hand come and place on my back as izzy comes to stand next to me and alec as i cry into his chest . him holding onto me just as tightly as im holding onto him./

"Ave atque vale. Hail and farewell." 

clary and jace come to stand next to me and alec, and as she does i turn and latch onto her both of us holding each other as we cry.

i dont know if i can do this without my mom

shes always been there, always been the rock that has gotten me threw everything.

the only one that i have found i can always relay on.

life without our mom  is going to be horrible.

its never, ever going to be the same.

shes not going to be there to guide us.

shes not going to be there to help.

shes not going to be able to tell me what the hell is going on with me or clary....

i dont know if i can do this without her.