🏵️Chapter 36🏵️: A decision to forgive.

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{Eleanora's P.O.V}

It's true that crying doesn't solve issues
But it sure as hell helps us release.
Those bottled up emotions
And those things we lock away
In a way, it makes us feel better and see better
Helping us to know what to do next

      I watched from afar, dressed in a maid's dress, standing under the rain, watching from behind a big tree as grandfather was laid to rest forever. I couldn't show up in person but grandfather wouldn't be happy if his favorite granddaughter wasn't there to accompany him back to where he came from, even if it's at least from afar. Tears left my eyes undisturbed and the rain kept getting heavier including my heart.

I don't want to believe everything is lost because if I do, I'll start to lose myself mentally and it could have a crazy effect on me.

  I watched as the people who were there to send Grandpa off were his witch of a second wife and her so called 'offsprings'. I watched as his glass coffin with golden edges was lowered into the earth under the pouring rain. Everyone had their black umbrella to shield them from the pouring rain.

"Today, we gather to send King Azad, a great king of his time who outshone his father and made this nation a better place to live in, to the place where he came from. We all came to the Earth with nothing and we shall return with nothing. It is indeed a sorrow to send our beloved king to the land of his ancestors but we should know that he would forever live on in our hearts as that one king that restored political and economical peace during his time. May his soul rest in peace". I could hear the priest say.

  I watched as the witch hypocritically fell into the rain and started screaming cause I won't call that a cry. It sounded more like screeching to me. Her son, Duke Steven, held her while her daughter in law, Duchess Leila, covered the both of them with their own umbrella. I saw as Annabelle was in the embrace of her husband, who put his hand on her little baby bump. On seeing that, My hand automatically touched my belly and when I remembered that there's no one in there any more, I fell to my knees, hugging the body of the big tree like my life depended on it. I broke further into tears.

I stopped looking,  turning my back towards the scene, I put my head into my hands and I broke down more. The more I cried the heavier my heart seemed.

Why am I so pathetic? Why is my life like this? Why am I so rich, yet so poor? I can't even keep who I want with me then what's the essence of being a princess? What's the use? 

  I was tired of thinking. My head was aching badly and my heart was in my mouth. The cold slowly seeped into my body but the sorrow and pain balanced it off. My hair was wet and my whole clothing was drenched but who cares?

"Your highness... We lost the baby. I'm so sorry"  I remember what the doctor said as I fell back unto the bed in shock.

"She hasn't been moving for the past five hours, Doctor, what's going on?"   I remember Ciara's cry.

  "Does my husband know... That I lost my baby?" I remember asking the doctor.

"He doesn't know yet but as soon as he comes, I'll let him know, your highness"  The doctor had replied me.

  I laid in the grass, the rain not having any mercy on poor me, my eyes going dry cause there were no tears left to cry. I shut my eyes, allowing my wet hair to cover my face.

I'm tired. Of everything.

_____________________✍️

After lying there for a long while and the rain had finally stopped raining, I stood to my feet. I wasn't awake neither was I asleep. I was just...there.

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