Dearest Kit

Chapter Thirty One

My Darling Lana,

I cannot express the admiration I have for you now that I have seen you perform, in your element. I could never do what you did the other night, I would never have the confidence to perform in front of that many people. I never was one for theatre, when I had to, at school, I never had a leading role. Is this strange? That the Hollywood actor has stage fright?

If I wasn’t sure that you could be a musician before, then I am positive now. You may still have decisions you need to make, about your future, whether you attend university or not, but I for one am certain that you would make a brilliant singer, professionally speaking. You were right to tell your friends what you thought, and if you are making up with Sacha then that is even better. It’s cliched, I know, but every cloud has a silver lining.

I must confess to you, that I cannot wait until you have finished sixth form, this way we can do more wonderful things together. I want to travel with you, take you to beautiful places. I think you will love experiencing life as an adult, as an independent, able to do anything you want with your life without the restrictions of school and work and friends whom you rarely see eye to eye with.

Friends are a tricky thing, I know all about their tribulations, but I also know that they can help you through some really daunting times. I have filtered through the users and the selfish ones, people who would purposely leave their wallets at home when we went out because they knew I could afford to lend them some cash. When the media were relentless, when my parents were difficult about my career choices, my few very good friends stuck by me. You should meet them, one day.

I rather like this image of you, an immoral vixen, dressed all in black with dark eye makeup and scarlet lips. Is it terribly stereotypical of me to get turned on by that? Perhaps, but I’m only human... To be fair to them, you flirt with me, I’m a celebrity; does that make you an immoral vixen? I hope so, I really do.

My family would love you, I’m sure of it, because they’ve got tired of me being with girls who do nothing good for me. Parents are parents, they’ll always irritate their children, won’t they? I guess mine are wonderful in the way they’ve had to deal with not seeing me often, and the lies the press publish. You misunderstood my last letter, I don’t want to have a family with you, not at this age, I totally agree with you. I love you, more than anything, and one day, maybe we shall have children as beautiful as you, but you are young, and you’re still finding yourself.

Yours Always,

Kit

P.S. Let me see you, soon, there’s something I wanted to discuss with you, but I’m not sure how to put it into words. Real words, words spoken aloud. I love you, Lana, I hope you know how much I mean that, I really do.

* * *

Handsome Kit,

Please, my darling, you make me out as some kind of martyr! I’m glad you enjoyed the performance, liked our music, but you should know that it is at no effort of my own. The reason you are good at acting, is because you were meant to do it; the reason I am good at performing is because maybe it is what I am meant to do. It’s a shame that I have only discovered it now, at the age of eighteen. It’s not strange that you have stage fright, your job is to perform to a camera, a room full of people, not to theaters.

My future is becoming clearer and clearer, like driving through fog on the way to school in mid December. I’m glad Sacha has apologized, I’m glad we’re starting fresh, becoming friends again, forgetting the past. I’ve missed her being my friend, and I think maybe we’ll get even closer after college, things will change when the students in my class are scattered across the country, at various institutions.