Astrophile

078

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY!!! This is all thanks to @DamnnMommy so thank you so much!! My God, I'm simping for my own character... I absolutely adore the art work, and there's still one more left!!

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Her words caused your breathing to stop. The silence was so loud that you could hear your own heart hammering against your chest. 

A white, shrilling noise rang in your ears as you blinked to bring yourself back to reality, "What?" You rasped, still in shock as to what she had just said.

Watching your reaction, she let a grin form on her lips as she played with her hair, "Well, I did say I have a preposition..." She started again as you slowly shook your head in disbelief. Could it be-?

"I did some digging around... and I found someone, a doctor to be exact..." You didn't like where this one sided conversation was going, "I know the age for one to get the... surgery is 18 years.... but they have decided to make the exception of 3 years..." 

A choked sob left your lips as you hurriedly pushed your chair back and tried to stand, watching how your mother's eyes shined with insanity, "Look, [Name]!! You're 15, right?!" She grinned maniacally as she stood as well, making you back up against the wall.

"Listen to me, just listen to me!! I-I... I'll leave them alone!! I'll leave the Sanos alone, I'll leave Baji and this Ryuguji kid alone, hell even that albino girl of yours!! Just, for once listen to me!! I-I'll be the best mother to you if you just agree!!" Her eyes screamed desperation; desperation for getting the perfect son for her to flaunt.

"No, no, no!! Oh God, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" You screamed back, throat scratchy from all the screaming. Tears ran down your cheeks as you sobs raked through your body uncontrollably.

"Why?! Why can't you leave me alone?! What the fuck did I ever do to you?!" You screamed at her, but she watched in disappointment at how you refused her offer. Her face contoured into that of a mother who was disappointed at a lying child.

She clicked her tongue as she watched you cry out hysterically, annoyance coursing through her veins. Why can't you ever be obedient like [Brother Name]?!

"Why can't you just listen to me?!" She growled but you shook your head, "You sick monster!! I don't want this, I don't want this!! I'm not your slave!!" She raised an eyebrow at your words before walking over with a certain nonchalance in her gait.

"Well, whatever.... I tried being nice, but it seems like you just love being threatened...." She crouched down to your level and grabbed ahold of your chin, "You will get the surgery, the doctor has advised to get the surgery done in Osaka, so we'll be leaving in a few days...." You could only watch in helplessness as another problem piled on top of your mountain of misery.

"We'll be leaving on 31st of October, on Halloween..." 

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[Mother Name] left you alone in the living room where you stay slumped on the floor, shaking fervently at what was happening. 

'What should I do?! What should I do?! What should I do?!' You raked your brain for answers, but not a single thought helped you.

You leaned your side against the wall, staring at the white tiles of the kitchen in front of you as you sat there, unmoving for God knows how long.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and hours turned the night into day as your body remained unmoving from the living room ground. Your mother's figure came down the stairs and went into the kitchen, completely ignoring your corpse-like body slumped on the ground. She gathered her important documents and grabbed her coffee, before walking out the main door and leaving you alone with your thoughts in the house.

Your eyes drooped at another sleepless night, your face resembling more and more of a dead body than a living person. You blinked as your thoughts were scattered all across the place.

What to do? Oh, what to do?

You leaned forward and almost dropped down, only to place a hand in front to steady yourself. Slowly, you got up and stumbled, but ended up stabilising yourself. Your dead gaze scanned each and every corner of the house, feeling each step of yours, heavier than the last.

'I wanna sleep....' You thought to yourself as you let your feet carry you wherever they please.

The next thing you knew, you were standing face to face with your mother's bedroom door. You stared at the wood blankly before reaching out and twisting the doorknob. It opened with a satisfying click as you dragged your body inside and scanned the room. 

You picked the first pen you found and a piece of paper in your pocket. You didn't know what you were writing, but the minute you were done you reread the entire note.

A suicide note.

Slowly, you got up and pulled the side drawer open. There laid Kawasaki's New Nambu M60 pistol. You took it out with steady hands and placed the barrel in your mouth, positioning it on top of the inside of your mouth.

All of a sudden, memories of your friends and family came in your head. [Brother Name], Shinichirō, Wakasa, Takeomi, Benkei, everyone you recalled seemed like they were trying to stop you from doing this through your memories.

Memories of your father were hazy, the last thing you recalled was seeing him smile tearily at you in the court as he waved you goodbye.

Memories of your gang reflected in the crooks of your mind, every single day that you spent with them seemed like the best day of your life. If you were given another chance at life, you'd chose it to spend your life with them the exact same way. 

And lastly, Yuki and Sora....

You didn't want to remember them, simply because you knew that just their mere thought would stop you. But you had to do this. You don't think you could take this any longer.

You were a coward, yes....

You envied Takemichi and how courageous he was. If only you had an ounce of his courage, then maybe you wouldn't have been such a weak, useless piece of trash.

But... You never wanted to be this selfish.... All you wanted was freedom...

It seems as if your memories were stopping you, stopping you from your gateway to freedom. You recalled Ken's words, "Please... just be selfish for once and think about yourself first..."

Tears fell down your cheeks as you looked like a mess. You didn't want to be selfish, but for once... you begged so you wouldn't have to think about anything. Just stop thinking and sleep forever.

​​​​​​'Please... I'm begging you... just let me be selfish for once and end all of this...' You thought in helplessness as you closed your eyes shut, feeling the cool metal slide on the hard palate.

But just when you were about to pull the trigger, you felt your phone ring in your pockets. You let out a strangled cry as the gun fell out of your hands and onto the floor. You pulled your phone out and cried as you saw the caller ID.

"Why won't you just... let me die in peace, Sora?!"