Red Vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles (Male OC)

S1 Episode 3: The Rookies

We cut on top of Red base where we see Callan, Simmons, and Grif talking about something while a soldier in red armor comes up behind them

Simmons: (Looks at Grif) Hey, that's not exactly what happened

Callan: I have to agree with Simmons on this one Grif

Grif: But he said, "I'm not going to the Vegas quadrant," and then next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for

???: Excuse me, uh, sirs

Grif, Callan, and Simmons then turned around to see the soldier behind them

Grif: Sirs? Ah crap

???: I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and Speak to whoever's in charge?

Grif: Sorry man, Sarge is at command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today

Callan: Actually Grif, Sarge put me in charge while he's gone.

Grif: "Sigh" Of course he did

Simmons: He also told Callan and me that, if we had any trouble with you we should (Intimidates a terrible Sarge impression) "Git in the Warthog, and crush yer head like a tomato-can"

Grif: That was the worst impression I ever heard

Callan: Of all time (Looks at ???) Now, what's your name rookie?

???: Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens

Grif: A couple of things here, rookie. First off, Private Donut? I think somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?

Donut: This is the standard-issue red

Grif: Yeah, I know. Listen. Only two kinds of people wear standard-issue armor: Oficers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer

Donut: Well (Points to Callan and Simmons) there wearing red armor

Simmons: No, my armor is maroon

Callan: And mine is scarlet. Your armor is the standard red

Donut: Well, how do I get a different color armor?

Simmons: (Looks at Callan and Grif) "Sigh" I bet the blues don't have to put up with this crap

Callan: Probably not

(Meanwhile)

We cut to the other side of the gulch. Where we see Church, tucker, and another soldier in standard-issue blue armor outside their base looking at a tank

???: So I say to the guy,  "How're you gonna get the tank down to the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship," And I go, "If you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?"

Tucker: Hey, kid?

???: Yeah?

Tucker: You're running the moment. Shut up

???: Oh. Okay. You got it, man!

Church: You know what? I could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing

(Meanwhile: Red Base)

Simmons: Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal

Grif: I just refuse to call him Private Donut