Dearly Despised, (I love you)

Fake Dating?!

A/N: WE GETTING TO THE GOOD KUSH

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One of the many hair-pulling qualities of Adrien was his knack for surprises.

Whether it was lurching from the abyss to jump-scare her, replacing the beloved Chat décor in her locker with his modelling pics (that was fun to explain to Chloé when she walked past, who promptly announced their mutual discovery to all surrounding members so the damage control required tripled) – Oh! Or how about that time when Marinette was minding her business, and he decided to, you know, call out to her—

"Babe! There you are!"

A second. A long second: a second where there was confusion, conclusion, and confusion again. Marinette's once-coolly leaning figure rested on the outskirts of their indoor basketball courts, hanging jaw formally chewing gum.

But now instead of watching a fan-made video about Chat Noir, she—under total fixation—watched Adrien approach her as a beguiling smile (there was no way that was directed at her) took over his face – with Miss Bustier of all mysteries a step behind.

"B-babe?!"

He slung an arm around her shoulders in a way like he had (never) done before, frosting Marinette's body a further negative degree.

"Sorry, I didn't tell her we were doing this," he explained to their teacher, ignoring the gobsmacked expression to his left. "Look, Marinette, we've been caught."

"Caught?!"

"Caught is right." He construed the origin of her volume to match his sick role-play. "We're not as subtle as we think. See, Miss Bustier keeps noticing us leaving together during akuma attacks and coming back at the same time from the same spots. Not to mention," he said with a grin she had believed was saved to taunt her – then she realised that may as well be what he was doing (because what was he doing?!), "leaving for the 'bathroom' at the same time—"

He winked.

Marinette looked up at him, disgust tugging the corners of her mouth as her stomach inverted. The confusion wore off and her thoughts sprinted. Her lashes tremored at Miss Bustier as she read the placid expression, but there was only so much one can gage from a thin smile and clasped hands.

Then Adrien's words caught up.

That– That was her running off to be Ladybug.

To save the world! That was all her crafted lies and scheduled escapes so she could capture akuma with her dearest partner! Not for school-closet runs with her despised foe! Just—

Yuck.

The situation didn't make sense until the pin dropped. Adrien was confronted about his unreasonable tag-alongs to her escapades – and veiled it by the synthetic guise that they were dating. Those times where he followed her while she tried to transform and they'd argue to no end about who was stalking who.

She blinked; the stiff icicle she'd become defrosting.

Oh he was not going there.

"Well, actually—"

The fingers clipped to her waist pressed in warning, the soft pressure shooting adrenaline up her abdomen. She noticed the way his lean figure was taped to her in their mutually loathed side-hug like he was really trying to get Miss Bustier believing him.

Then he re-froze her by lowering his head, pushing a dark lock of hair past her ear and hovering his lips in a gesture that jolted her heart up her throat. There, beside her skin, a warm, threatening whisper sliced through her: