Reviews : a book where I try to review other books

23 | Not yet Dead

By:

First impression

Was very interested is all I have say for this part.

blurb

I think the blurb has enough information to not confuse the readers but also make them intrigued. I do think the bucket list part was glossed over when I read the book, although I only read 5 chapters, I think the bucket list could be mentioned with her parents maybe? 

I might have read over it so please correct me if I'm wrong. 

Other than that I think the blurb is good and keeps the mystery and curiosity for the book. [That sentence doesn't make sense.]

cover

The cover is absolutely beautiful, the vibe gives me like those books with sadder tones to them. An example I'd use is The Thing about Jellyfish. I'd also want to add the title is also very intriguing, and with the cover combined I think it's perfect to gain the attention of readers. 

pacing

There were parts where it was rushed, I did like the choice to have a pattern in the chapters where there is a flashback chapter and a present time one. 

But I would suggest to take more time as well in certain chapters, like maybe when she gets news about her illness [I think you didn't want to specify but to see her get treatment or learn to deal with it with her parents would add more impact with the events that happen afterwards]

Also I would suggest to add Nick and Alya bond as room mates, I do think that arc in itself could be a big change for both characters and seeing them bond and get to know each other [the readers as well getting know more about Alya and Nick] would also build their character. 

Other than that I think the pacing was done well, you take your time to write down the thoughts about Alya is great and her interactions with other people felt real. 

plot
I know that the invitation to her apartment is a driving point for the story to progress but a suggestion is to give her a deeper or maybe outlandish reason to why she invited him.

As no rational person would invite a stranger who one only met a day ago to their apartment.

Seeing as the title indicates about the character having an illness. Maybe their prone to make irrational decisions as a way to say, their living life to the fullest by taking risks.

And perhaps it could be the reason why she does so inviting nick.

The plot in general is so interesting and I would definitely read this on my own/ without the task of the review.  

 
characters

So it states that Nick was narcissistic in the character boards? I like how he has a clear flaw that can become an arc for him to grow but when Alya and Nick met, I didn't get that vibe. 

A suggestion would be have them meet in a different situation instead of that as the entire them bumping kinda made Nick look like a creep [if this was your intention then you did a great job writing him as so, I was totally creeped out with the first meeting.]

Other than that, I only read 5 chapters so I know they'll development and so I won't dive in too deep on this category.

dialogue

There were a few grammatical errors but it wasn't distracting. The dialogue is also pretty good, some needs a few tweaks. A suggestion that I've also added in other reviews is to recite the lines out loud and see if it sounds natural. Or even whisper them. I do this a lot when writing dialogue since I think dialogue is what adds so much personality to a character. 

I'll use characters in brooklyn 99 I guess. There are certain lines in that show that makes you go, that's definitely this character will say.

So yeah, dialogue helps a lot in character building and saying it out loud can help determine if it sounds like someone would say and then perhaps tweak it to fit this character's personality.

descriptions

You write descriptions in a balanced way, does that make sense? You don't over describe the character's actions and focuses more on thoughts. I do think you can add more descriptions on other people's actions to expand the scene more and it doesn't feel like the spotlight is only on the main character?

Perhaps have the scene be illuminated in a sense, with the spotlight on the main character. [lol I tried to write some sort of metaphor and failed heh] 

So in general little descriptions of other characters makes the scene feel more real. 

is it compelling

I personally think it is. From the title to the plot, it really is intriguing. I do think it needs a few tweaks in the first parts. Can't say much how it has gotten better but I can see the potential.

overall

I liked reading it and definitely has the potential to be a good story and can even see it on the shelves on the bookstore heh. Anyway, I hope this review didn't come off as rude and was helpful in some way. That is all, have a good day/night, keep on writing, and farewell!