seraphic [h.s]

chapter thirty nine.

Vienna- Billy Joel.

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Harry
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I slipped out of her. So warm and sweet.

She lay her head on my chest and I could feel the steady breaths coming from her. I knew she would fall asleep on me, exhausted by the way we fucked. I considered myself the luckiest man on earth. I felt as she handed over all of her trust to me tonight. I wanted to bundle her up and never let go.

But shit was getting complicated outside of her. She was the only good thing to come out of my life. She was refreshing— her lightness and love. And I was like a damn sponge, soaking it all up. I doubt I deserved it, but I willingly took it. I would take anything she gave me.

"I'm about to fall asleep." She whispered as if I couldn't already tell. Her sweet voice filling my mind with pleasantries I wanted to act on. "I'm know baby, but we can't stay here." I hoisted myself up as well as her, swiping my boxers from the floor and tugging them up my legs. "Mmm wish we could." Her face nestled further into my neck and I could physically feel my heart pinch.

I knew letting myself get in too deep with her wouldn't be smart, and yet here I was doing it anyway. I wanted to keep her at all costs, I wanted to watch her experience everything, but I couldn't. I hated knowing that we were on borrowed time, and I hated knowing that I shouldn't have let us get so close when I knew I would end up having to leave.

At first the thought of leaving felt like it would never come, like time would somehow slow down for us. But time stopped for no one, nor did it ever slow down. When someone's time was up, that was it. And now my time was nearing closer and closer and I dreaded telling Mae just how close it was.

I didn't want to break her heart, providing that I had her heart to begin with. Though I think I did. I think she gave me her heart the very moment we let each other in. And now I would have to give it back.

When she looked at me with those pretty eyes full of hope, the plan to tell her that I had two weeks left with her diminished. The end of summer was coming around whether we liked it or not, but Evie had managed to get the first two stadiums for our European tour to pay us double than what they originally offered. She said she'd scrapped the last three bars that we were supposed to play in for our tour of the States, because apparently it was nothing compared to what we were about to get with this new deal.

It was three against one. They wanted to see the dollar signs and I wanted to stay with my girl. Not that I could tell them that. And as much as I wish time would magically slow down so that I could savour more of Mae, I knew I couldn't up and leave the band. I couldn't forget that they pulled me out of the darkest parts of my life. Music is what I am, it's what soothes me and brings me peace. But so does Mae, and that's how I know I fucked this up badly.

"Gonna clean you okay? And make sure you take a wee." I gripped her to me, her soft legs wrapped around my hips. I would miss her skin, miss feeling it on mine and her sometimes coconut, sometimes cherry blossom scent— whichever shampoo she would have next in the drawer. "I know I have to pee, Harry." She rolled her eyes, smirking with those luscious lips I wanted to devour again.

Pushing open the adjoining bathroom door with my elbow, I walked forward to sit her on the cream counter before flicking the light on. Reaching for the box of tissues beside us, I pulled four out and brought them between her legs. She watched my hand gently wiping her, "You always clean up the other person after you fuck them?" I couldn't get used to the way such vicious words escaped her lips. She was so elegant and sweet that she even spoke them in a delicate manner.