Heat Waves // Calum Hood 5SOS

Chapter 14

•Dionne POV•

At first I wasn't sure where I was headed, but I ended up walking over to the bar where Calum was, noticing that he was now joined by Michael. As I reached the bar, I picked up the drink that I'd left next to Calum and immediately drank most of what was left in that glass, accepting the burning sensation that settled in my chest.

As I put the nearly empty glass back down on the bar, I noticed that Calum had turned from where he was talking to Michael and was looking at me with... concern. "You good?" He asked, and I watched as Michael leaned forward onto the bar to see me past Calum.

"I uh... yeah. Just thinking I might go home." I nodded to myself, looking down and leaning my crossed arms onto the bar.

"Already? It's so early." Michael pointed out, sounding genuinely surprised. I pulled out my phone to check time, and saw that it was, in fact, about quarter to 1am. Which is super early for me - particularly on a night out.

"Yeah, I dunno..." I shrugged, slowly resorting to that state of mind where I just didn't want to talk anymore.

"How you thinking of getting home?" Calum asked, and I let out a huffed breath.

"I'll walk, probably."

"...On your own?" I glanced up to see the concerned frown on his face - and still, all I could do was shrug. "Fuck that. I'll walk you." He said, lifting up his own drink and taking a big sip.

"I don't live far, it's fine." I shook my head, pushing myself off of the bar to stand up straight. "You don't have to come with me, Calum."

"Yeah, well... I want to." He shrugged, putting his glass down on the bar and crossing his arms as he looked at me.

"Hey, I'll go too." Michael piped up, walking around to the other side of Calum and propping his elbow up on Calum's shoulder. I felt a slight smile form on my face; although I didn't want them to leave just because I wanted to, it was nice that they offered.

Eventually, I gave in and accepted that they weren't going to let me go alone - and I knew that I didn't want to stay. So instead, after Michael spoke to Blaire, we left the club - Blaire included. Leaving Charlie to go after Sameera and discuss whatever their plan was for the rest of the night... knowing Charlie, it was probably to find another person she already knows from uni and continue the night with them, regardless of whether Sameera wanted to stay with her - and who knows what she wanted. I certainly didn't.

As we walked down the dimly lit streets, I thought about the things Sameera had said to me... I'd gone from feeling mad to just feeling upset and confused. I was upset with Sameera, and I was upset with myself, and I was confused because... what if she was right? I didn't know what I wanted, and I was going about it all the wrong way.
She knew about my date with Ashton, and she was happy for me... I guess it makes sense that she'd be questioning why I was supposedly 'flirting' with Calum.

She didn't even know that I'd seen Ashton again yesterday - and how would I even explain to her that he'd kissed me, and that I'd pulled away, without her judging me for that too? And I already felt guilty enough about that. Hell, she'd probably just say something about how Ashton is so nice and I was wrong to think about Calum instead because he only wants one thing...

"You alright, Dee?" Blaire's voice cut through my thoughts, and I turned to look at her with a dishonest nod. We were walking down the street with our arms linked together, Michael and Calum walking in a pair behind us and chatting with one another about god knows what. "You never leave the club this early."

"I have a few times." I corrected her, knowing that didn't really help my case because every time I left early just meant I was being miserable over something, or it was early into first year when I'd get myself into some shit or have a nervous breakdown and disappear without telling anybody because I couldn't stand being around people anymore.
"I'm just tired." I clarified. No big deal, right? Well, not really to Blaire, because she just shrugged with a nod.
I know that if I'd said that to Sameera she'd have immediately been concerned and keep questioning me - but honestly I was happy to avoid the psychoanalysis this time.