Loving you...Isn't always easy - soulmate au (Jinkook, Jihope, NamTaeGi)

I have a plan!

Some time before

Namjoon POV
I waddled over to Yoongi hyung's room and the closer I got the worse I began to feel. Our bond was close yes. Key word though it WAS close.

You see with the whole Taehyung and Yoongi hyung fiasco I didn't properly look at my priorities. Instead of being there for BOTH my mates I was only there for ONE.

With every step I took towards his room my heart was beating out of my chest. I didn't know if Yoongi hyung will ever forgive me for neglecting him.

I didn't want to know.

Before Tae, I always had Yoongi hyung. Our bond was so strong that it physically hurt to be apart. Now look at me, I'm not even checking in on him.

Yes, I was mad for what happened to Tae but if Tae can try to make amends why couldn't I?

Where was I going wrong?

Why did I do this to him? My alpha? My mate? My freaking hyung my gosh damn best friend. Why did I do it?

There was that element of fear that when it gets all too much for Yoongi hyung he will leave me. So it was better off being with Tae since I knew he wouldn't go.

I was scared of losing him so I stayed away. What kind of logic is that? I let him spend his rut alone. I know the doctor said to make him do it alone but I should have at least checked on him earlier.

What's the point of going so late?

I hate myself for doing this to him.

I walked into his room and the door was wide open. He was hugging Jin hyung tightly and crying into his embrace.

Yoongi hyung's eyes searched mine as soon as he smelt me. My hormones and my scent were all over the place. His were still getting there.

He wiped his tears and pushed Jin hyung away so he could run to me.

I walked in closer and caught him almost immediately. He secured his legs around me and he could because yes he was bigger than Tae but he was still smaller than me.

He was whimpering in my arms and I have never felt like such a disgrace, such a terrible mate. I didn't care about hyungs feeling not even once.

"Joon it hurts so much, why did you stay away from me? Do you not like me anymore? Did I do something wrong? I hurt Tae I know, but I'm trying to amend it. Why are you hurting me in the process? If it's something Iv done PLEASE TELL ME".

He sobbed into my arms and I felt his pain, I felt it so much that I wasn't able to suppress the guilt.

I held him so tightly and I tried to form the words but I couldn't.

Jin hyung pulled him away from me and he made a very disappointed face at me. "Do you think you can just make it all better by apologising to him at his most vulnerable moment? You thought wrong Park Namjoon. You hurt Yoongi so much. You fucking neglected him. I don't care if it was for Taehyung. Yes, he's my brother but Yoongi is ALSO MY BROTHER. Don't treat them differently just because one of them made a mistake. IN FACT EVEN TAEHYUNG MADE MANY MISTAKES. You are so different to Jimin. He's literally looking out for all three of you and then there's you".

Then he helped Yoongi down onto the bed despite the fact that he was really upset and didn't want to move away from me.

Hyungs words actually stung me but I didn't say anything. I deserved it.

"Taehyung may have been hurt but him hurting Yoongi back wasn't ideal so remember they both were wrong. You tried staying as the mediator but in the process Joon you lost Yoongi. The one person who helped you become better. Yes, you had your ups and downs but you grew together and ONLY YOU are to be blamed IF this doesn't work out".