Dreamland Review Archive

Egg Journey (CLO)

Title: Egg Journey

Author: Nafisa Tabassum Rida ( nafisa_tabby_rida )

Genre: Humor, Nonfiction, Short, Autobiographical

Chapters Reviewed: Egg Journey

𝖗 𝖊 𝖛 𝖎 𝖊 𝖜 𝖊 𝖗 : thecloudedpages 

Blurb Below:

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I. Title: Egg Journey

Might I say, a very unique title. It is very uncommon, especially when you add "Egg" in the title, and I quite like it. I think it is one of those things where you could have any story behind this title, and it would work. It sort of gives me a coming-of-age mood with "journey."

II. Cover

Okay so with the cover... I am neutral. I don't hate it and I actually adore how clean the font and title are within the cover since it makes it so much more readable. Actually, now that I look at it more... I like it hahahaha. It is unique and quite different, but I actually like it!

III. Blurb

Again, with the super short blurb. Not sure how I feel about it. It is super short but since I can really tell the autobiography element from this story, I totally see it now. It works but at the same time, I really want more since it feels too short to pack-a-punch.

IV. First Sentences

Interesting first line. Again, not a huge punch with the delivery but it does its job. I really want you to focus on that first sentence and make it punch a bit more. Up to you how to make it more impactful, but whatever can add more fire to it would be super nice.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Shall we begin? SO. You just requested for pretty much a general look at your story so here you go!

To start us off, I did it again and just read the whole thing without notes hahahaha. But I can tell you, this is so cute and lovely. It is an adorable autobiography, and it is actually so weird that this is probably the first PROPER autobiography I read. I am now quite intrigued with this type of writing now so thank you for that. What I also love is how in the comment section, people shared their own little story about their funny experiences which I just find super adorable. The story is cute, a bit silly, and all around, a very lovely read.

I will just note this since I feel like I want you to have a takeaway from this. I did notice in the story, it started getting to be very "list-y." Like, I know it is an autobiography so it is recalling events; but I feel that you could have switched it a bit more to read like a fictitious short story. The repetition of "Then" & "But then one day" & "After" is what builds the listing manner that then would read like a lot of information dumping (which is a BIG NO-NO). That is all my major criticism for now. I couldn't see major grammatical errors, nor could I notice the plot being at a halt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Now for my takeaway. I like to keep these short and sweet for you to be able to come back to and just quickly see what you might want to take from this review.

1. Improvements to help:

a. Development on packing-a-punch in very crucial areas (blurb and first sentences)

b. Avoid listing out the events as it then begins making the story read out like you are just information dumping (BIG NO-NO)

c. Blurb feels a bit too short again. It works, but I think at least 1-2 more sentences will help it out more.

2. My personal opinions of the work:

a. I liked it! Again, I can't say I was extremely drawn to it, but I surely was looking more into it. And for a short story, it really works perfectly as it feels complete enough to work for me! The idea of the autobiography made it really cute and a short little funny story to tell.

And that is all I have to say. I really enjoyed my reading. If anything, you can message me through PM or through here (you will have to tag me for me to get the notification) for any additional coverage that you would like me to discuss. That is all from me for now!

Have a great day and hope you enjoy this little review of mine!