𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 (𝟭-𝟲). ❥ cix.

2.1 ;; crying

Curfew rolled around, and within a few minutes, Yonghee was in our tent. Hyunsuk entered a few minutes later, but Jinyoung was still a no-show. Yonghee and Hyunsuk spoke to each other quietly, though the latter did awkwardly blurt out things. Byounggon just ran his thumb over my knuckles, quietly staring at the flap to the tent. I followed suit.

Eventually, after around half an hour, Jinyoung stumbled inside. He looked like he had been crying. Hyunsuk squirmed as though he was about to make an uncomfortable remark about it, but Jinyoung spoke instead.

"I'm sorry I was late. I... didn't know how to tell you this."

His voice was quiet, meeking. Judging by the way he had carried himself for the entirety of SSCC up until now, it didn't fit his character. He was slouched over, dejected, and I wondered what he had to say.

He sat down, pulling Byounggon's blanket over his head. Byounggon, Yonghee, Hyunsuk, and I all watched silently, awaiting for the rest of what Jinyoung would say. It took a minute for Jinyoung to regain his composure, but the next three words he said spelled it out for me immediately.

"I... Seojun, he..."

Seojun. His posture and everything gave it away. Seojun had been looking at Jinyoung, just as I had thought. I didn't even hear the rest of what he said before I was moving closer to him and engulfing him in a hug. Funny how I didn't even know Jinyoung until five minutes ago and we were already hugging. I felt like I needed to do it. "I'm so sorry, Jinyoung."

I needed to let him know that he wasn't the only one.

I glanced over at Byounggon, Yonghee, and Hyunsuk, who still hadn't moved at this point. I could tell that they didn't know how or if they should comfort Jinyoung. I felt my shirt dampen as he cried into it. "Byounggon, can you sleep in his place at their cabin? I need to talk to him."

Byounggon nodded, but Hyunsuk finally had something to say. "And for us?"

"Just..." I thought about it, rubbing Jinyoung's back. I needed these guys out. "Go to sleep, I guess. I'll see you guys later."

The three of them filed out of the tent. Once they had, Jinyoung pulled back. "What are you... why did you kick them out?" His voice stayed quiet.

I sighed. It felt easier to tell Jinyoung than it had been when I attempted to tell Byounggon. Maybe because he just went through it. "Because Seojun did it to me too. Last year and this year. A few times."

"A few?"

"Well, six-ish."

"Six?" Jinyoung started wiping at his tears. "And here I am crying over one."

"No, let yourself cry. I cried after the first time, too." I chuckled dryly. "It's like, well, this has happened, and all you're praying for is for it to never happen again. And you either end up lucky or like me."

Jinyoung didn't say anything, so I continued to talk, arms still wrapped around him. "Please don't tell me he pulled out his knife on you."

"He did," Jinyoung whispered. "He didn't use it on me, though. I shouldn't be so scared of my own blood. Did he use it on you ever?"

I figured I shouldn't ask him to elaborate, instead just nodding. "I'm just happy that you're okay."

"I shouldn't be crying, should I? You-"

"Jinyoung, and I say this for your own sake, shut up." I covered his mouth with my hand. "It's not a competition of who had it worse. The thing is that I was assaulted and essentially attacked, and you were assaulted and threatened. He's still a horrible person at the end of the day."

Why was I never able to tell my parents any of this?

Jinyoung nodded slowly, finally agreeing with me, before collapsing back into my chest. He started to cry again, quieter than he had before. He was vulnerable. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and cried too.