𝟠𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝔹𝕋𝕊

triggers

[This is some what of a continued part of "hate". Viewer discretion advised.]

Self harm wasn't something you could recover from in just a day

Once someone starts feeling relief from cutting, it becomes a addiction.

And just like other addictions, it required great patience and will power to get over

The members had made sure to keep all knifes and razors away from you to stop your urge

There would always be someone at home with you since you needed the emotional support

But now you were here, sitting on your desk with torn papers thrown around your room

Tears threatening to pour out of your brims

Writing songs wasn't as easy as it sounds. Especially when you had no motivation

You were due to submit the lyrics for a OST of a upcoming drama

Fans were excited. You would have been too if you weren't under the pressure

You never worked well under pressure. Even after being seen as a overall calm person, stress could get to you easily

Feeling of overwhelm and stress took over you

You sniffed and shut your notebook, putting it in the drawer, out of sight, so you don't tear it when you lose control

You could feel a breakdown coming up, you could feel the urge to cut, growing

You fisted your hands and closed your eyes, focusing on breathing and getting your thoughts positive

But it didn't work

Images of the previous events of the hate you get kept flashing through your mind

Their voice echoed in your head

"Worthless" "slut" "no talent" "ugly" "stupid"

It hurt

Your stomach started turning and you felt like vomiting

The downpour of tears started and you didn't bother to control your sobs

There was no one home

You laid your head on the desk and cried your pent up frustration out

Body trembling, you felt oddly alone

It was over. You had no will power left to restrain yourself

Swiftly looking around your room for something sharp. Anything sharp

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn't be having such thoughts crossing your mind

But it was so hard. So hard to restrain

But you know that you can't give up. You couldn't break the members' trust

Shakily, you picked up your phone and blindly called the first number which popped up

Meanwhile jin had just arrived back from practice

Yoongi had left an hour ago since he had to attend a important meeting

Jin got stuck in the traffic while  coming back home. resulting him to be an hour late

Which meant you were left alone for the time

He was worried but knew that he had to trust you

Just as he waved off the driver and began walking up the pathway leading to the main door, his phone rang.