Debauched || Namjoon

Tensions.

~ ❦ ~

It was a gloomy day today for some reason.

I look out the window, gazing at the gray sky looming outside. It was about to rain today.

My ears perk up just slightly when hearing the faint crack of thunder graze my ears. It was followed immediately by a moderate downpour of rain. My eyes couldn't help but fixate. It was calming just looking at each water droplet as it fell, perfectly splashing against the ground.

It was then when I felt a hand on my shoulder when I realized my name was being called.

"Honey, are you okay?"

I turned my gaze to look in front of me, and my eyes unexpectedly locked with Namjoon's. I didn't linger on for too long when turning to my side where my mom was.

"I'm fine mom.." I mumble to her with a faint smile.

Her brows furrowed as she made a little pout on her lips. "You haven't eaten any of your breakfast, are you sure you're alright baby?"

I gulped when looking down at my full plate. I hadn't eaten a single thing since sitting down.

Honest I didn't really have an appetite today. Eating anything right now felt like the last thing I needed to do when all I think about is Namjoon. It hasn't even been a day since he said we couldn't be together and yet I miss him so much.

"Are you sure you're alright, Bora?" I hear Namjoon's voice from across the table making me turn to look at him once again.

His eyes were soft, observing me closely with a concerned gaze. I forced myself to push a toothy grin as I stared through him. "I'm fine" I say quietly when pushing my chair back and getting up from my seat.

"Hey, Where are you going?" Mom says when watching me lift my bag up that was behind my chair.

"I'm going to school, I-" I don't even finish my sentence when I see Namjoon getting up from his seat too. "Actually, I'm going to take the bus so you don't need to drive me" I say, making him immediately halt himself.

"What.. why?" He asks, sounding so confused, as if he doesn't know why the hell I don't want to ride with him. Maybe he's just trying to act like he doesn't know why.

"I think it's about time I find my own way" I say simply before turning my back.

I don't give him a chance to respond when grabbing my jacket and umbrella, walking out the door, locking it behind me before opening the gate. I travel to the nearest bus which unfortunately for me was a full two miles away from the fucking house.

Getting there, the bus was there luckily within seconds of me arriving at the unfamiliar stop.

The air is unbearably cold and stale in the bus.

I sigh when pulling my thin jacket against my body as I walk down the aisle. Finding one of the few empty seats, I look to my side as I feel a cool breeze.

As the bus moved between stops, an older lady came to sit next to me, making me move closer to the window.

We stop, and the old lady leaves the seat beside me and before I can even blink, the seat is occupied again. I pay no attention to my fellow traveler, instead looking out of the window and dreaming.

The cold is getting to be a little bit too much for me now. I then reach out to yank at the handle. The window is tightly shut and I want to curse under my breath. Suddenly an arm shoots up to the window from beside me. "Here, let me do that," the guy sitting next to me offers, and with a firm yank the window closed, letting wind brush against my face for the last time.

"Thank you," I exclaim when turning to him.

He smiles when leaning back, his hand that was just on the handle finding a way to my knee. "What's your name, love?"

I stare at him, finally registering his features as I consider answering.

He's older than me, maybe a few years older, though I'm never good at guessing people's age. I looked down at his hand that had still remained on my knee, as if he thought such physical contact was part of normal human interaction for strangers.

"Uhh.. Can you move your hand" I say rather nervously but with a faint smile, making sure not to try to come off too aggressive.

A titillate grin fell on his lips before he eventually moved his hand to himself. "Your name?" He asks again, when leaning a bit forward to me. It was that close, but it was close enough to where I could smell the coffee that he obviously drank this morning.

I contemplate on whether or not I should talk to this man I just met. But what's a little conversation gonna do?

"My name is Bora..."

"Such a pretty name, for a pretty girl" His voice was deep and yet soft as he complimented me, and I couldn't help but feel a bit off about it.

I gaze closely at the man.

Without even really having a conscious choice I was suddenly seeing Namjoon in front of me. He was a good looking guy but he looked nothing like him, and yet I'm thinking about him right now. Maybe it's his voice, or maybe it's the fact that he kinda has dimples even though though it's just on one cheek. But no, he doesn't look like him at all, not even close to looking my Namjoon.

Actually not my Namjoon. He was never mine in the first place.

Snapping out of my delusions when I hear the driver announce my stop, I quickly get up. "I need to go, excuse me" I tell the man next to me in a hurry. He sits there for a second before ultimately moving to get up to let me get past him.

I don't spare another thought of the stranger when I exit the bus.

~ ❦ ~