His Addiction - BoyXBoy

Chapter 46

Jameson

The past few weeks have been looking good for me. I live with my boyfriend and his family. Temporarily, but still.

I was so hesitant when Kyle proposed the idea to me, I thought he was insane. But laying alone in that hospital bed, it got me thinking. Who else do I have? Where do I go from here? I have no other family. Thus, the decision was made.

That didn't take away the nerves and worry of meeting his family, let alone telling them I was his lover.

Today however, that familiar feeling of nervousness has returned like a ton of bricks falling down on me. The day I return to school.

Past me would be excited any time we returned from any type of break from school. However, this time it's different. It's just me going back after almost three months of absence.

The thought of the looks and long stares as I enter the school alone kills me inside, wishing I could walk through those doors with Kyle's hand in mine. I hadn't had that want of wishing Kyle was out to the school until now. It hasn't bothered me before.

It wouldn't be too nerve-wrecking if I had a friend to walk me in, it doesn't even have to be Kyle. The last time I even had anyone I classed as a 'friend' is a distant memory for me now.

We walk to school together - something I haven't done with Kyle for awhile now. He holds my hand in his, not looking around wearily as he used to do so often.

I find myself stalling at any given opportunity. Using my shoe lace, undone backpack and my 'messy' hair all as excuses to stop for a few moments.

"You can't avoid this much longer." Kyle frowns as he awaits me to tie my laces for the second time now. Closing my eyes for a few moments, I realise he's right. I've reached defeat at avoiding this god-awful day any longer.

Will people still be the same? Will they laugh at my reappearance? Hell, do they even know where I've been and for what reasons? I wonder if Kyle told the football boys?

"Jameson!" Kyle calls as he jolts his hand around in the air a few metres away from me to gain my attention.

"Sorry." I mutter, walking ahead past him. I feel his look on me as I walk past him, shoulders slumped at a loss on how to calm my growing anxiety for the next thirty minutes ahead of me.

Kyle catches up to me with a small jog, once again walking beside me, his hand no longer laced with mine. I can tell he yet again doesn't know how to help me and I don't blame him - it feels like there is no way.

We approach the familiar turning where the school is just a few metres away as I come to a stop. This is usually where we part. I look anxiously towards Kyle, mind unable to stop creating unrealistic scenarios on what could happen in my mind.

"I'll see you at lunch?" I ask, breaking the long silence which Kyle clearly wasn't intending to.

"Yeah, no you won't."

I look at him at a loss, feeling somewhat hurt. He was going back to his old ways? Where's his confidence gone from just a couple months ago?

I watch dumbfounded as Kyle takes ahold of my hand, striding round the corner with pride. My stomach churns the nonexistent food which I have yet to eat for breakfast.