She wanted to die.
He wanted to live.
•••
A hand grabbed onto my wrist, yanking me back just as the train rushed past, before I'd even had time to comprehend whether or not I'd carry out the action. I stumbled back into the person's chest, my hear...
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For a moment, I wasn't quite sure if I was hallucinating.
I wasn't quite sure if I was truly seeing the girl who instantly eased the aching in my heart; the girl who had been stuck on my mind as I'd tortured myself over whether or not she would be alright; the girl whose smile was a better painkiller than the morphine running through my veins; the girl who still seemed too ethereal for me to behold, whose sparkling hazel eyes made everything feel okay again.
"Hey Juliet," I whispered, blinking back at her as she smiled, shutting the door behind her as she shuffled into the room, looking at me no differently than she used to despite seeing me at my weakest. Even then, part of me was still convinced I was dreaming – perhaps I was simply just imagining the pink hue across her cheeks and reddened tint to her shorter brown curls, or the way the air around us seemed to freeze as our eyes met, stars igniting in the distance between myself and the cause of my hurting heart.
I hated that I knew this was wrong; that I still had a conscious which was screaming at me to tell her to leave, and not make this any harder than it already would be. But basking in my selfishness one last time didn't seem like a terrible idea when her lips pulled up into a smile, replacing the crestfallen image I had imprinted in my mind from when she had fallen apart in my arms. Her brown curls seemed shorter, with some even completely gone, but she was still the same girl I had fallen for, and my guilt wasn't enough to overrule the sheer relief that enveloped me when she had first entered.
Maybe this was all just a side effect of the painkillers; maybe I didn't stand up from my bed and drop the book previously in my hands while she placed down the tray she was holding, our gaze never leaving each other's in those slowed down seconds that felt like entire galaxies died and were reborn as the green flecks in her hazel eyes remained focused on me.
"Hi Romeo," she whispered back, but maybe no sound even left her lips; I may have been imagining the soft tone of her voice and the way everything made sense again as she still called me by the name she knew me as. Maybe we didn't take those slow steps towards each other, my heart feeling like it was being pieced back together as the sweet sound of her voice filled in the cracks and made all the agony I'd endured worth it just to see her again.
Perhaps I was transfixed in a dream, and we didn't reach out for each other before collapsing into a hug, falling apart in each other's arms as all the pain and love and hardship and serenity of our time apart fused into our embrace. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but holding her felt like being able to exhale after holding my breath in for so long, releasing the tension radiating through me as we moulded against each other.
It was as though we were both aware that neither of us were okay, and we didn't have to be, because as we held each other in those fleetingly evanescent moments, with her soft skin against my own and my arms wrapped endlessly around her, there was nothing that compared to the light that enveloped the two of us, shining through our darkness while nothing seemed quite as hopeless as it had before.
