Sunflower Reviews

Orlaith - It Was Always You

Reviewer: Myst3ry007

Review: It Was Always You

Client: Yashhiiiee

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'It was Always You' seemed like a promising story within the genre of books I enjoy reading. The title seemed quite ordinary and overused but such is the life of writing. Finding a unique title is often one of the hardest feats for a writer and so I dismissed the cliché title and focused rather on the aspects of writing in itself.

Blurb:

With regards to the blurb however, I believe it could do with much needed work. It barely holds the interest of the reader and doesn't entice you to open the book as it is meant to do.

It explained the characters to some degree, as well as mentioned the reason for these characters worlds colliding. But nowhere within it, did it specify or even hint at a deeper plot point as it should have. Lacking in the fundamental attributes used to entice a potential reader.

I believe that with a thorough rework of the blurb is could be so much more enticing and bring more readers to the authors works.

Grammar & Punctuation:

The grammar and punctuation within the book were slightly okay for the most part. However, there were major noticeable points where either words, full sentences or punctuation marks were missing. An issue, that can be easily fixed with a look through from a pair of fresh eyes.

These issues would not necessarily be considered major but considering the frequency of them. It is quite noticeable.

There are also moments within the writing when the wrong words are used. Words which are commonly and easily misspelled but are easily noticeable because they happen way too often.

Words such as Quite and Quiet:

-          Quite means to a great extent / degree

-          Quiet means to be silent

These common mistakes cause the sentence to read quite strangely and since it happens way too often could lead to frustration on the readers part as they constantly have to correct it while reading.

In essence 'It was Always You' will greatly benefit from an overview from someone else who can pick up on these mistakes and possibly correct them.

Paragraphing & Phrasing

The paragraphing within this story is done quite well – however, there are certain moments within the read that the paragraphs do tend to get a bit long. These long paragraphs can drag on and feel like the story isn't progressing.

There are also moments where paragraphs are missing sentences or seem incomplete. The thoughts of the characters seem suddenly cut off and do not appear on the next page. This causes for a confusing read that sadly doesn't entice the reader to continue on.

When it comes to phrasing, I do have to say that there are major issues with it. The characters are meant to be American yet they do not speak as such which shows a lack of researching on the Authors part.

'Housemate' – isn't a word used in American language and neither is 'Shift'.

Another issue is the constant use of the word 'Dumbass', within less than 2 chapters (the first 2). I had read the word an obscene number of times which is something that shouldn't happen. I understand the need the need to portrait the characters in such a way because its how the author perceived American's. However, I felt it was in poor taste as well as there wasn't a need.

The misuse of the words above lead to immense confusion as to where these people were from since they do not speak conventionally like people from that region nor do some of them act that way.

I believe though that with thorough research done on the Authors part and a new outlook on the book, the author could make this book great and relate to the reader.

Characterization:

The characters within the story need a lot of work done on them. They appear one dimensional to the point of being considered boring. They barely do anything other than, work, eat together and now and then have a moment.

Their descriptions are written in the blurb towards their personalities however they do not come across as that. The FMC – lacks in the confidence she supposedly has, coming across as meek and timid.

I would love to love these characters, but sadly they're flat in all aspects. We barely know them by appearance except for the FMC as well as neither of them has their own voice. Along with the fact that you can't pick up on their personalities, you can't really pick out on who is who just by their speech.

Plot:

The plot is basic and has been done a million times over, the only thing different within this story is that the author skipped the part where the FMC found her apartment in ruins. The other thing is that there is no further surprise within the plot because the main one happens within the first chapter.

There are moments within the chapters where things do start to come together as something, but they dissolve quite quickly into nothing. There seems to be nothing to the plot other than the FMC and MMC having some sort of attraction towards each other and playing a game of cat and mouse however the characters seem more often than not to pass each other by, than interact with one another.

Making for a fast chapter with no real significance to it. The flow of the story however is fast paced towards what end, I am rather unsure of.

One final thing to note about the plot, is the fact that the author made the characters live within LA – however the FMC's boyfriend lives in Washington. A place believed to be an hour away as discussed between two characters. This inconsistency shows to the authors inability to do research into the American life, because LA and Washington are on two different coasts. Thus being much further away than an hour.

Writing Style:

The author chose to write this story in First Person which is usually how Chick-Lit / Romance books are written and which should immerse the reader into the lives of the characters.

Though the way this was written it wasn't in the conventional sense of showing but rather in a telling manner. This made for no immersion into the story and a rather detached feeling towards the characters and the story while reading.

Overall:

Overall, I feel and know this story needs a thorough work through on all aspects within it. There needs to be major research done into the American lifestyle on the Authors part so that they can replicate or mimic their speech and mannerisms in the correct way.

It is a great attempt at a story but the inconsistencies cause for quite a lot of questioning.