Right Now.

Chapter 27

Eventually after I drifted to sleep amidst all of the tears, Audrey came in with Christopher and panicked. She ran about the house and eventually found Kian holding me on the floor. She proceeded to yell at him for what he did to me, thus waking me up.

"Kian Lawley! How dare you come back and act as though you did nothing wrong! And what the hell did you do to this house? Do you realize how hurt Madison has been these past few weeks!" Audrey screams. I finally open my eyes and look around, realizing the situation. Kian's grip loosens as a result of Audrey's scolding and I push away from him, scooting back until my back hits the bed.

Kian looks at me, scared almost, before standing up.

"Look, I came back because I owed it to Madison! What happened was a mistake and I needed to prove that! I wanted to come apologize and beg for forgiveness!" Kian starts, pleading with both Audrey and I. Tears form again in my eyes and I look away from Kian.

"Then why didn't you come back earlier! Madison has basically spent the last five weeks torn apart because of the decisions you've made!" Audrey says firmly. Her voice almost sounds calm. It scares me even.

"Look, I know it probably doesn't make sense but-"

"Of course it doesn't make sense! You cheated on your wife!" Audrey starts. Although I appreciate her standing up for me, I hold my hand up to stop her.

"I'll take care of this. Could you watch Christopher for me for a few hours?" I ask her, smiling appreciatively yet sadly.

"Of course. I'll be at home. Call me if you need me," she says. She gives me a smile before leaving with Christopher.

After she leaves, Kian turns to me. This automatically makes my heart start to pound. I don't know what to do or say and just looking at him reminds me of what happened and it hurts.

Kian takes a step towards me
And I instinctively put a hand up, stopping him. I shake my head, looking away again.

"Madison you have to hear me out," he says softly, lowering himself to the ground and sitting Indian style in front of me. It reminds me of a child.

"What happened to the house?" I say, my voice dull and monotone.

He raises his eyebrows for a second before his face falls.

"Let me explain everything," he says, reaching out towards me. I flinch away from him, causing him to retract his hand.

I look at him expectantly, turning my expression to a cold, hard, emotionless one.

He takes a deep breath.

"As soon as it happened, I freaked out. I couldn't handle what I had done. After I called you and you hung up, I was a wreck. I cancelled so many days of filming. I kept telling myself that I should just go home, but I couldn't. I was too scared. I thought that if I came home, you'd make me leave. I decided to give you some time and myself sometime. I needed time to think through everything..."

"Think through everything? What do you have to think through? Whether or not you enjoyed the other girl enough to leave me?" I blow up, but I keep my voice steady.

"No, no nothing like that! I would never leave you!" I scoff slightly at that, but let him continue. "I had to think about how I was going to ever make it up to you. What I did was unacceptable, unforgivable. But I can't lose you."

I stare at him, not exactly impressed with the talking that he's done so far. I shake my head slightly, lowering my eyes to my hands.

"When I finally worked up the courage to come home, to come back to you, I put filming on hiatus. I remembered something from before we got married. When I got home and you weren't here, I had to find it. I looked everywhere in this house. Obviously you've seen the chaos of the house now. I freaked out when I couldn't find it. I turned everything trying to find it. I thought that somehow it would help..." His voice cracks a little on the last word and when I look into his eyes, I can see how broken he is. It softens me a little, but doesn't lessen what he did.

"Well, where is it?" I ask, looking at his eyes.

"I couldn't find it," he replies, looking disappointed in himself.

"What was it?" I say, quieter this time. I feel disappointed as well. I wanted him to do something amazing to make everything better and now I feel like that chance is lessening.

"About a year before we got married, I decided to be the cheesiest fucking person in the entire world. I wrote those 'open when' letters to you. I put all of them in a box and kept them under my bed. After we got married and I started moving out, I found them again and put them in a box so that they would move into the house with us. But I don't remember where I unpacked those letters, and I need them. There was a letter that I wrote that I thought you would never have to open. I labeled it 'open when I fûck up.' I wrote it just in case I ever did something wrong to hurt you, but I promised myself I would never do that. Obviously, I fûcked up so bad. I never thought something like this would happen, but it did. I know a dumb letter won't fix much, but I want you to read it anyway."

I don't reply. I can't read what he doesn't have.

"I've looked everywhere," he says, softer and damaged.

"Did you check the attic?" I say, trying to help him. It may be weird, but I want a reason to forgive him.

After what he did, all the pain I felt, I'm rooting for him.

"I-I didn't get that far," he tells me. He offers me his hand as he begins to stand up but I don't take it. Instead I stand up on my own and walk out of the room.

I lead the way to the stairwell that leads to the attic. When I get there I open the door and start climbing the stairs. I know Kian is behind me. Once we get up to the attic, Kian begins to look through boxes.

The attic is empty for the most part, only boxes and random items in it. Eventually, Kian and I wanted to turn it into an extra room, possibly for a playroom for Christopher when he grows up.

As Kian begins to go through boxes, I start on the other side of the room and do the same. I pick up boxes and open the tops of them, looking for anything that could hold a bunch of letters.

Kian and I look in silence for what feels like hours. I go through at least five large boxes, coughing and sneezing due to the dust from these being up here undisturbed for so long.

"Madison," Kian calls. I look slowly over to him from where I was sitting and looking through a box.

He stands up from where he was and rushes over to me, an old shoe box in his hand. He's it's at a safe distance from me and opens the box, pulling out an envelope that was probably once white.

He hands me the envelope, looking at me expectantly. Sure enough, the envelope reads in Kian's handwriting, "Open when I fück up."

"Can I read this alone?" I ask him, hoping he'll leave.

He nods, reaching out to me again. This time I don't flinch away. When his fingertips brush my cheeks, I close my eyes fora second. When I open them, I see tears in Kian's eyes before he turns and leaves me alone.

I stare at the dingy envelope reading over Kian's handwriting a few times. Finally, I open the seal of the letter carefully, as if to not rip any of it.

I pull out the papers from the envelope, unfold them, and begin to read.

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Hello lovelies!!!

Who's rooting for Kian?

I'm on the fence about it.

Ive neglected my homework by writing this. But by this point, I don't care about school too much. I should, as all of my exams are coming up.

So please be patient with my updates. Some weeks I have a lot more homework than others and I can't update.

So yeah this next chapter is going to be pretty intense so it might take me a while to write.

Maddie seemed eerily calm this chapter. OoO

So I hope you guys enjoyed!

Vote and comment please?

I would love if this got over 160 votes!

Thank you guys for everything!

xox -Delilah