Daunting Fires (Completed)

6- Wrong Room...

I wake up to the loud ruckus of metal on concrete. I frantically sit up in my bed and freak out. Eric is banging a stupid metal pole on the wall. A brunette boy across the room puts his pillow over his head and yells, "are you serious? What a stupid..." Eric drops the pole and drags his feet lazily to the boy's bed.

It makes half the room jump when Eric grabs the boy and by the back of the shirt and drags him off the floor. "Get up now. Follow me." Although Eric talks to the boy, everyone awkwardly
follows them. We walk down three halls to the pit but don't stop. We stop once we get to the chasm.

There's a rope hanging from a thick hook on the glass ceiling. I don't remember seeing it early this morning, although I was tired. Eric has the brunette boy's shirt in his fist. He shoves the boy towards the rope. "Swing to the other side, Damian," Eric says, clear of emotion. The boy widens his eyes. "But... the hook would break," Damian's bright blue-green eyes trail to the ceiling.

Eric steps eerily closer to the boy. "I...don't...care." Eric clenches his jaw. "You wanna be Dauntless? Stop finding a way out." Damian is taking deep breaths, I'm guessing to calm himself. Damian wipes his sweaty forehead with his shirt. He clutches the ropes and nervously looks above. "Today, initiate." Eric sends shrills down my spine, but I think of chocolate cake to feel better. Damian exhales sharply and swings to the other side, trying very hard not to scream. When he reaches the other side of the chasm, his foot misses the platform. Many look around, whispering "he is so dead" and "he needs help".

Damian forces himself to swing harder towards the platform and grunts as he falls face first on the cement. I see in my peripherals how Cece sighs of relief. I turn my head in her direction and she looks back. She raises her eyebrows and mouths "phew". I nod.

Damian has a bloody nose and it spills onto the concrete.

Eric turns toward everyone and says, "follow who's in charge here. And don't forget who's in charge." He looks at me and I see his fists clench. I almost turn around, hoping he's looking past me, not at me. I don't want to be a person on Eric's 'hate' list. If all Damian did was complain, I can't imagine what Eric would make me do.
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After dressing out of our night clothes and into our black day clothes, we are taken to breakfast. I'm eating a blueberry muffin when Jared asks, "why is it so quiet in here?" He was correct. It was generally quieter than usual, especially for the Dauntless compound.

"It's probably about what happened to Damian. It got people's attention. Freaked them out. Freaked me out," Cece says looking down at her plate of fruits and toast.

I get up to throw away my napkin and plastic plate. "Do you guys want anything else? I'm getting up to throw these away," I question Cecelia and Jared. It's a question I would ask my friends from school during lunch. But I don't feel so close to Cece or Jared. If anything, I feel like the loner of all the initiates. Cecelia and Jared talk. Damian talks with the brunette Candor boy and a girl I think is from abnegation. It's like kindergarten all over again. Everyone is paired up but me. I feel the need to cry.

"-a bottle of water?" Cecelia looks at me concerned. "Sorry," I say, "what do you need?" Jared looks up at me. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yep. I'm fine. Just kinda blanked out." I look down saying this. I really don't want to cry in front of anyone. I'm supposed to be Dauntless. Dauntless cannot cry.

"I'm no Candor, but-" I cut Cecelia off and say, "I'll be right back."

I hastily walk out of the cafeteria, past the pit and into a hall. I see a bathroom and walk into it. Once inside, I get in a stall and let a waterfall of tears out of my eye sockets.

I felt good about being here yesterday. I felt like it was a fresh start, being at the Dauntless compound and all. But I allowed nostalgia to get the best of me. I miss home. I miss Kirone and Mom and my friends from school. I miss books and precision and sophistication, I miss my comfort zone.

But it was all just my comfort zone. It wasn't who I wanted to be. I definitely didn't fit in. But I felt comforted by regulation. I had a habitual Erudite life. And becoming Dauntless is a big change. It isn't what I call "normal" or "regular". It's starting a whole, new chapter of my life, being me. It's something I'm scared- so dearly scared- to mess up. I don't get to choose twice. And there's no regulation as to what I am to do now. I have to make decisions for myself.

Someone walks into the bathroom, making the door squeak. I jump and flush the toilet that I didn't use. I clear my throat before getting out of the stall. When I get out to wash my hands, my eyes don't look up but rather at the ground. I rub my hands in the foamy soap and wash it off. I feel like the person is staring at me and I feel uncomfortable.

"Why are you here?" Oh my gosh. This cannot be happening. "Have you been crying? What's wrong with you? Do you know where you are?" I still don't look up but I feel the blood rushing into my face, my ears. I quickly wipe off my hands and look up at him. I open my mouth to say something but I can't when I see the confused smirk on Eric's face.