Nothing To Prove

25 Do You Miss Me Too?

Ashton

I waited for her the next day to stop by, pack some of her clothes maybe, talk to me maybe. With the events still fresh and raw, maybe a night of sleep could clear our heads. She couldn't stay at Cara's. It was ridiculous. Sleeping on the floor with all those people when she had a room here?

But the whole day, she didn't show up. I only noticed some of her items gone when I came home late night after work. Two thousand dollars left on the coffee table. For rent, the note said. 

For rent. That's it? 

That's what we had become? 

I almost got in my car and drove to Cara's. I imagined throwing Sam over my shoulder and dragging her home. I could probably convince her, if I really wanted to. 

But why? And for how long? 

How long until she ran again. Until my patience wore thin. Until whatever we had was ruined completely and left us with hostile feelings. Because that's what would happen. Because I couldn't go on convincing her she was worth it if she didn't believe it. I couldn't carry her. 

One day, my arms would tire and I'd have to put her down. Then what? She'd run again. 

So I focused on work. Back to how my life was before she barged into it. Except, nothing was the same. I carved ice into a diamond for a Bachelorette party, and in the flashlights of cameras and heavily-perfumed women, I saw Sam's cheeks lift with shy happiness. A customer in line at a coffee shop asked for vegan breakfast, and I remembered Sam gloating with twenty-grocery bags about tacos she wanted me to try. A stupid bunny cartoon on TV reminded me of her fiddling with the keychain on her lap the first night I took her home with me.

"Mmmh, you're so big..." The older woman laughed mid-kiss as she slid her manicured hand down my pants behind the club. I tried to ignore her and the stench of trash beside the wall. She moaned in surprised delight. "Oh, yes. Just like that, don't stop—"

"Just shut your mouth, will ya?" I snapped more harshly than intended, causing the heat to dissipate. Needless to say, she sobered and left me alone in the dark. 

I sighed in relief, to be frank, and slid down the grimy wall. Rats scurried behind cardboards, and at that moment, I wished to have a cigarette, though I didn't even smoke. 

The moon was full, but lifeless. Only a few stars, sparsely dotted the pitch-black. Usual, for polluted Los Angeles. I wondered if Sam also looked at the sky sometimes. If she remembered the night I held her in my arms as we watched the Milky Way. 

"Luka?" I called my brother, who I'd ignored for a week. My voice came out desperate, broken to my own ears, twisting the ache in my gut even more. I cleared my throat. Sniffled. "Hey, um, can you make me potatoes? Yeah... I haven't... Thanks, bud. I'll be home soon."

Sam received care packages from different companies. Apparently, the scandal had earned her fame in the social media world, and now she was showered with long-awaited attention. I gave every single box to Luka, seeing as Sam intended to stay out of my sight. 

Out of curiosity, and against my better judgment, I stalked her a little online. Of course, our pictures and videos had been deleted. She'd posted the gifts with thank you notes, showing her gratitude with well-polished paragraphs. Just enough professionalism, and nothing like the bubbly, real Sam I knew. Or thought I knew. Well, I hope she was happy. She got what she wanted, after all.

Two weeks later on a Sunday, Luka and I were watching our dad barbecue when Luka screamed.

"Yes! I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! I got invited to Social Bubble in Vegas!" 

I'd ask what he meant if he weren't running in circles cheering. Dad lifted a quizzical brow at me and I shrugged, waiting for Luka to calm down. Finally he stopped with the widest grin.

"Oh, it's only the biggest social media convention ever! I'm invited to teach a dance class for kids, isn't that awesome?!" He didn't wait for us to reply. "It's awesome! I'm awesome! The greatest!" 

"Vegas? Are we invited?" My dad asked, a tone of disapproval in his voice already. Oh, Vegas. The land of sin. Far too horrid for his young son. Little did he know I've heard Cara sneak into his apartment late at nights lately. 

"Obviously. Dad, this is a huge moment in my career. Every influencer and major brand associated will be there, watching. Interviews, workshops, discussions. It's goin' to be lit."

"You goin' to bring your girlfriend, then?" I teased, but also wanted a ticket out of it. If Cara was going to be with him, it meant I could excuse myself with work. God knows, Sam would be there too, and I wasn't down to be ignored with all these harbored feelings.

"I sure hope so, I'll have to ask first. You'll come too, right?" His eyes rounded with hope. 

I hid back a grimace, wishing he didn't care so much about my attendance. "Do I have to?"

"Of course, you do." Dad answered for him, flipping the burgers. "We're all going to support him. As family." He looked up directly at me as he said the last word, leaving no room for disagreement. 

"Please, Ashton? It'd really mean a lot to me. Think of it as picking the fruits of your labor. Ten years of putting up with me, huh?" Luka flashed me an innocent smile, knowing damn well I was trapped.

"Don't you think a real gift to me would be a well-earned vacation from you?" 

"It's in three weeks, I'll just avoid talking to you until then." His smile grew wider.

I sighed in surrender. "Let's start now."

"Will Cara's friend be coming too?" My dad asked. He was fully aware Sam and I had broken up. Despite our issues, hiding secrets wasn't common in our family. He knew I had feelings for her and she had insecurities that stood in our way. Of course, I hadn't told him the details. 

"I don't know," Luka said. "She's been working two jobs, so her schedule is all over the place."

"She has?" I blurted out.

He nodded. "She got a night shift, actually. Been working on her fear of the dark." He chuckled as if remembering something. "It's funny, actually. She's training herself like a dorky madwoman. She even got herself one of those headband lamps to wear at nights."

"Where does she work?" I asked. 

It was a restaurant in a shopping center. I'd been there before, they were known for their cheesecakes and bread. But the image of Sam working in the dark after her intense terrors were hard to believe. I couldn't sleep that night, wondering if she'd lied to Luka and was back to doing something stupid. Another webcam maybe, now that I was completely out of the picture. 

Just to prove myself right, I drove by the restaurant that night. Night shifts required taking out the trash, so I lingered in my car far enough for no one to question it. It was stupid. So stupid. Would she come out to dump out the trash? Would it be someone else? What if she wasn't working tonight? I was wasting time, being a moron. But still, I couldn't make myself leave. 

I waited. Rubbed my eyes tiredly and stretched my stiff back. Then, finally. It happened. 

Sam came out of the back door, a trash bag as big as her in her hands. An obnoxious headlamp around her head, as Luka had described. She looked like a mine worker, ready to go underground to dig for treasures. In the crips night of 3 AM, I heard her grunt with physical labor as she tossed the bag over her shoulder before flinging it over and inside the metal can. 

Then she did something that squeezed my chest. Made me long for her and wish to get out of the car, break the distance, call all this a stupid game and just fucking be with her again. 

She looked up at the sky. I remembered cupping her tear-struck cheek and softly asking her to look up with me. I remembered the joy lighting up her face when she finally did. The stars glistening in her eyes and the way everything inside me burst alive when we kissed.  

I watched her until she had enough.

~A/N~
Aw :( Do we agree with Ashton's choice to keep his distance?