the killing kind - (lgbt | onc 2022)

4

word count: 2374
total word count: 8841

The hot air in the barn weighed down on Kavi's shoulders like a stifling blanket, carrying with it the smell of livestock and sweat. After several years of working here, ever since he was old enough to manage a pitchfork like every other kid that had the physical capabilities for it, it came as a comfort. Kavi allowed his mind to drift as he shovelled dirty bedding into a wheelbarrow, sidestepping one of the several barn cats that insisted on getting in the way. Overhead, the afternoon sun poured through the narrow gaps in the upper walls where boards were missing, bringing in with it a welcome breeze.

The work here was never done, but Kavi didn't mind it. Certainly not when he had so much plaguing his thoughts—the repetitive motions and the silence allowed him to regress into his mind.

Jasper had told as much of his story as he could. After, Kavi had regrouped with Laura and Declan at the dining room table, recorder sitting untouched before them.

"You're ex-military," Declan had said, attention on Laura. "Is this possible?"

She'd shaken her head, looking more exhausted than Kavi had ever seen. "I don't know. I left fifteen years ago—at the time, human experimentation was being mentioned here and there, but no one was working on it yet."

Human experimentation was what Jasper had been a victim of, according to his own halting, cautious explanations. It had been clear he didn't remember all of the details, but he'd recounted being taken in against his will and brought to a facility he didn't recognize. From there, it had been months of invasive procedures and injections and x-rays, with Jasper losing more of himself with each test.

All in an effort to build the perfect human weapon. Stronger, faster, deadlier. The cost was everything that truly made Jasper human—his memories, his sense of self.

"Clearly the testing hasn't been completed," Declan had said. "Jasper isn't the outcome they wanted. He's unstable—unpredictable. Whatever they put in him took over, and they lost control of him."

And so they'd attempted to get rid of their failed experiment. Jasper hadn't said anything else on that topic, no matter how gently Kavi had attempted to pry, to dig his nails into the cracks in Jasper's bulletproof shell and pull it apart.

So all they could do, for now, was attempt to piece things together based on what they did know.

They'd wanted to execute Jasper. And whatever was inside of him hadn't allowed it.

After that, they'd played the recording. One bright spot.

"Did you sleep well?"

Declan's solemn expression had grown lighter as they listened, walking through each of Kavi's small victories. The mood had lifted slightly. There was hope for Jasper, a hope that relied on everyone in Ashwell, but especially Kavi. And all he had to do was the same thing he longed to do anyways—keep talking to Jasper.

"Almost done this section?" Work boots on the corridor floor accompanied the words.

Kavi straightened out his posture, feeling sweat stick to his spine. Laura had been so distracted she hadn't even reminded him to change out of his binder before doing menial work, and now he was feeling the consequences of being too scatterbrained to remember on his own.

"Yeah. Just gotta empty this wheelbarrow and you can come behind me with the new stuff."

Alec nodded. At nineteen, she was Kavi's age; they'd been in the same class. In a school as small as Ashwell High, cliques couldn't exist, and each student held some degree of friendship with the others. Alec in particular, however, Kavi held in high regard. She'd been one of the first to adjust to his pronouns when he'd come out as trans, along with Jasper and Laura, and had enforced them in the classroom with an iron fist. He'd been a bit of a pushover at fifteen.